myself?

i hate times when i'm having mood swing... i'm not having PMS ok... i'm jus duno why... just feel so moody... feel like having someone to chat with but can't find anyone... so many problems trapping inside me.... family problem is really suffocating me.... how much i wish i can go to a place where no one knows me and start all over again....
I"M CRAZY.... i will be working in yoshi this thursday... when i not working, i feel very bad.. so i gave them schedule.... but when i give them schedule, i feel like slapping myself... i feel so so stupid....
am i too noisy? am i too hyperactive? am i too fake? can someone tell me? maybe a quiet me will be better ba.....

I HATE MYSELF

WHY THINGS ALWAYS GOES THE WAY I DON'T WANT.. HAD A BAD QUARREL WITH MY PARENT AGAIN... YES, AGAIN... AND ITS EARLY IN THE MORNING.. AND THE ISSUE IS OVER MY SISTER AND HER BABY... THEY BLAME ME FOR INFORMING AUNTS... BUT ITS IT A OCCASION THAT IS WORTH SPREADING THE NEWS ISN'T IT... BUT THEN I GET A HELL LOTS OF SCOLDING OVER THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING... OF COURSE CRIED LE... THEN NO MOOD WORK, LONG QUEUE SOME MORE... HAD BEING WORRYING WHAT IF MY PARENT CALLED COLD STORAGE,.... WHAT IF THE GO DOWN AND FIND TROUBLE FOR ME,.... WHAT IF THIS WHAT IF THAT... I HATE THIS LA... I LEAVE YOSHI PARTLY IS BECAUSE OF THIS, THINKING THAT IN COLD STORAGE I CAN START ALL OVER AGAIN BUT I THINK ALL THIS WILL END SOON....
WORKING IN COLD STORAGE FOR 5 MONTHS LE. SO MUCH OF HAPPINESS AND UNHAPPINESS LA... BUT REALIZE THAT I CAN LIVE HAPPIER WITHOUT YOSHI.... START TO WORRY WHAT IF THOSE THINGS REALLY HAPPEN? I HAD TO RESIGN AND START ALL OVER AGAIN? HOW MUCH MORE ENERGY HAD I LEFT? TODAY AT COLD STORAGE ALTHOUGH I STILL VERY NOISY AND HYPERACTIVE,BUT ITS ALL JUST FOR SHOW. JUST TO FINISH MY SHIFT, EAT AND THEN GO HOME. TODAY I JUST FEEL LIKE BEING ALONE......
I ALWAYS TRUST THE WRONG PERSON YET I STILL DUN CHANGE... U ARE NOT WORTH MY TRUST AT ALL....
I HATE MY LIFE.... WHAT IS THE USE OF LIVING IN A LIFE FULL OF HATRED, REGRET AND UNHAPPINESS.....

I WANT TO COMPLAIN

EVERYONE GETTING THE SAME $10 per day.... BUT WHY AM I KEEP DOING FEEDING TURNING FEEDING TURNING AND U ALL GET TO DO SUCTION AND INSERTION OF NGT
ITS MY CUBICLE AND I SHOULD BE THE ON DOING RIGHT.... I PREPARE ALL THE THINGS THAT IS NEEDED FOR NGT INSERTION AND YOU JUST NEED TO SAY I HAVEN'T DO BEFORE CAN I DO AND I HAD TO LET YOU DO... BUT WHEN U ARE DOING SUCTIONING, I'M BUSY FEEDING... ITS NOT FAIR LA....MY CUBICLE GOT 4 NGT FEEDING... ONLY ONE DAY WHEN CI IS ARD U CAME OVER TO HELP.... ALL OF THEM ARE SO HYPOCRITE... WHEN CI IS AROUND, SO HELPFUL, WHEN CI NOT AROUND U ALL ARE JUST HELPSELF OR RATHER HELPFOOL... I HATE THIS GROUP..... WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO COMPLETE ALL MY SKILLS WHEN I'M ALWAYS STRUCK AT FEEDING? TMR MIGHT BE HAVING 5 NGT LIAO... OMG... NEW CASE STROKE AGAIN... I DIDNT GET TO DO NEW ADMISSION... WAS ON BREAK... I'M JUST SO SO UNLUCKY...

well, quarrel with my mother again.... how am i going to take it? 3 pm shift and 2 am shift, how can i still go shop to tidy those rubbish invoice.... say house got chicken soup want me to go home drink... u all is want me to go home take order just say la.... I HATE U ALL....

i don't even know how to love myself... how can i expect others to love me? i'm just destroying myself recently.... i hope i can stop it soon....

tmr morning shift... trust me, i'll recieve alot of help from those HELPFOOL people... and i'm the fool who don't dare to speak up.....