i use to believe......

everytime when i see friend around me got a boyfriend that is much older then them, i usually thinks that its ok... there won't be a age gap probelm.... when i see friends parent objecting their relationship, i use to tell myself, my aunt will surely wont object me if i found a boyfriend that is much older then me....
but i realise all these is what i believe... what i think.....
hmmm... with him already 2 months 15days le....
and i realise that there is a age gap between us....
till now, my aunt still object me going out with him... as in going out too often...
my aunt minds abt his size, his age....
nearly quarreled with bao bei just now.... because of him....
hurt so much....will we be able to stay together for long???
i can see that he put in alot of effort to lost weight....
i can sense that he really take my words seriously...
but will he really manage to slim down?
even if so, the other problem still can't be solve.... age gap....
how am i going to overcome it?
how am i going to convince my aunt in agreeing in this relationship?
just a 11 years different yet i feel much further.... and we look so big different also...
how much i wish i can be with him... yet i cant even convince myself.... how am i going to convince my aunts?
saw pig head at cs just now.... purposely work cos i know he might appear for expiry check... well he did... hmmm... duno how to describe the feeling.... appears very calm.... but still keep thinking thinking and thinking....

NEW LAPTOP:)

finally, i bought my macBook Pro liao.... after waiting for so so long... i finally bought it.... quite ex... but with 3 free things.... satisfy:)....still getting use to the new laptop...
most of the item is installed... just that a few function still figuring how to use it... haha... bought my laptop and a table on national day... that is my only free day out of my my 2 weeks AL ba.....
with him accompanying me the whole day.... heehee.... happy time.....

dinner with "MA"

ended work at 430 today..... planning for coming home and make good food for my aunt... ended up receiving sms to go eat dinner with him and his MA.... spoiling my plan irritates me....
who am i dating with???? him or his MA?
whats wrong with me????
why am i finding fault in him????

well... i know the main reason behind it...
i know i shouldn't
i know i can't
i'm just being unreasonable...
he may not know... he may never know....

is my sixth sense got problem or am i just thinking too much....
he claims that his MA like me alot
he claims that his MA wanted me to go back for dinner more often...
he claims that his MA very proud of me being his girlfriend
how true can t hat be.....
why i dun sense it.....

i'm just a bad gal that ran away from home...
i'm a bad gal that cos my aunt and my mum to quarrel over me...
i'm jus a jinx to my family...
i'm extra in cs... i'm extra in my ward....
i'm just extra in this world......

i just dun feel right now...
i just feel insecure
i'm just having mixed feelings....
maybe i'll be fine after a sleep...
maybe i will never.