only one word can describe my life recently. SIAN.. work work work and assignment assignment assignment... today saw CL again... feel so.. argghhhh... haizzzz. still ate with him during lunch time... really sian de la..
to say frankly, really feel like giving up in cold storage... the people there are nice, the work there i can handle, but i'm just afraid it will turn out to be second yoshinoya. will i get too attach to the ppl and work there to the extend that i dun want to resign after grad? i start to worry.... and can the people there be trust?? i start to wonder even more this week...
seeing that a few will resign soon, i feel real sad....maybe i should go also?
i'm too stress up over my school work.... so many thing i need to do yet i dun have the time and i dun have the energy to do so. if oi withdraw from nursing now what will happen? will i regret? for sure is my aunt will be very disappointed... haizzzz
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
stressful and tire
life had being super stressful... firstly the impact of failing 2 module common test out of 3 common test really make me feel like withdrawing from nursing... really want to give up.. what is the use of making myself so stress and tire?
then yoshinoya recently also the other problem for me. geraldine had been sms me for the past 2 day asking me when i can work next week... really duno how to reply her... feel so bad but when think back, i'm not at fault also what. if at the beginning you all know how to appreciate staff that work hard, things won't turn out this way le right...cuimin, mdm kho and me won't had left for a better job. i wonder what will happen if i still don't reply her.. will she hold my pay?
next week got 2 major assignment due...
WPD reflective journal, DD also due soon... must start le... 10 page report leh... furthermore i fail that module during common test... must really work hard on that assignment to pull up my mark...
next week onwards, every saturday will have remedial classes for NS5... feel like secondary school time wor... but really hope can get over that asap...
got to cut my working hours at cold storage liao... really need more time to focus on studies le...
btw, today $$ tally again... so happy...
yesterday took a bus and pass by my secondary school... i really miss secondary school time badly.. attending math lesson is the best... everything seems so easy... for physics class, i'll never forget Mr Tan Puay Eng saying "physics is so easy" POA class, Mr Lee(LKC) saying "POA is so logic.." Ms solastri class everyone so stress... i really miss secondary school time... if time can go back, i'll choose to go back sec sch time.
i wonder if time can go back to when i just enter nursing, will i still take the same path, choose to work and study at the same time or will i sign up bond? will i still be emotional and stay at yoshinoya?
i really regret choose to work at yoshinoya while waiting for o level result. if i had chosen a higher pay job, will i be so stress over $$ now?
find life is so meaningless. its just about work and studies... wanting to get good result and manage work at the same time... so tiree.........
then yoshinoya recently also the other problem for me. geraldine had been sms me for the past 2 day asking me when i can work next week... really duno how to reply her... feel so bad but when think back, i'm not at fault also what. if at the beginning you all know how to appreciate staff that work hard, things won't turn out this way le right...cuimin, mdm kho and me won't had left for a better job. i wonder what will happen if i still don't reply her.. will she hold my pay?
next week got 2 major assignment due...
WPD reflective journal, DD also due soon... must start le... 10 page report leh... furthermore i fail that module during common test... must really work hard on that assignment to pull up my mark...
next week onwards, every saturday will have remedial classes for NS5... feel like secondary school time wor... but really hope can get over that asap...
got to cut my working hours at cold storage liao... really need more time to focus on studies le...
btw, today $$ tally again... so happy...
yesterday took a bus and pass by my secondary school... i really miss secondary school time badly.. attending math lesson is the best... everything seems so easy... for physics class, i'll never forget Mr Tan Puay Eng saying "physics is so easy" POA class, Mr Lee(LKC) saying "POA is so logic.." Ms solastri class everyone so stress... i really miss secondary school time... if time can go back, i'll choose to go back sec sch time.
i wonder if time can go back to when i just enter nursing, will i still take the same path, choose to work and study at the same time or will i sign up bond? will i still be emotional and stay at yoshinoya?
i really regret choose to work at yoshinoya while waiting for o level result. if i had chosen a higher pay job, will i be so stress over $$ now?
find life is so meaningless. its just about work and studies... wanting to get good result and manage work at the same time... so tiree.........
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
time is the thing i need
right now, turning on my lappy wanting to continue my nursing management assignment. but my mind is now blank... result from being too tire ba....
yesterday early morning recieve miss call from cold storage... called back thinking that its was about the $ 50 missing other gift voucher. so i called back. but no la... they are asking if i can work yesterday night. but i say cannot because was planing to do the assignment.
but guess what... geraldine called and ask me to go help because japanese was in singapore and she really dun have anymore strong staff. mdn kho resign, cuimin thingy..... so she ask me to help. and what to do... i must be crazy and out of mind... i agree... i reject a $6/hr job and agree to work for $3.70/hr job. was so angry with myself. why must i be so emotional and why must i be so soft hearted.... i reach great world city and ronald pass me the payslip... why must i about to resign le then they will transfer me to great world city? i had been there for 4 months plus and they never bother to do a transfer from clarke quay to great world for me. nobody bother to ask. now i want to resign le then you all treat me so well. i don't need that.
i'm so happy at cold storage now. compare to yoshinoya, i rather stay at cold storage. yoshinoya people had hurt me so much. esp harbourfront and great world city. the scar is there and nothing can be done to make it heal anymore. trusting and waiting.... i dun have that much time to wait anymore. 6 more months left and this will mean that i can never be able to reach the level i want. so what for staying there. do you think i'll still believe you when you say that i'll get promoted to crew leader? i had given up hopes. i rather choose something where i can earn more within this 6 months..... and i'm glad i did that because i get to know someone of the same kind from cold storage....
gotta continue my assignment liao... hope i can finish by tonight ba,......
yesterday early morning recieve miss call from cold storage... called back thinking that its was about the $ 50 missing other gift voucher. so i called back. but no la... they are asking if i can work yesterday night. but i say cannot because was planing to do the assignment.
but guess what... geraldine called and ask me to go help because japanese was in singapore and she really dun have anymore strong staff. mdn kho resign, cuimin thingy..... so she ask me to help. and what to do... i must be crazy and out of mind... i agree... i reject a $6/hr job and agree to work for $3.70/hr job. was so angry with myself. why must i be so emotional and why must i be so soft hearted.... i reach great world city and ronald pass me the payslip... why must i about to resign le then they will transfer me to great world city? i had been there for 4 months plus and they never bother to do a transfer from clarke quay to great world for me. nobody bother to ask. now i want to resign le then you all treat me so well. i don't need that.
i'm so happy at cold storage now. compare to yoshinoya, i rather stay at cold storage. yoshinoya people had hurt me so much. esp harbourfront and great world city. the scar is there and nothing can be done to make it heal anymore. trusting and waiting.... i dun have that much time to wait anymore. 6 more months left and this will mean that i can never be able to reach the level i want. so what for staying there. do you think i'll still believe you when you say that i'll get promoted to crew leader? i had given up hopes. i rather choose something where i can earn more within this 6 months..... and i'm glad i did that because i get to know someone of the same kind from cold storage....
gotta continue my assignment liao... hope i can finish by tonight ba,......
Sunday, June 22, 2008
OMG>>> SCHOOL STARTING>>>
2 week of term break had ended... yeah.. "TERM BREAK"... what have i done during these 2 week? practically nothing la.... working, projecting....
feel so lifeless recently... nothing seems to make me active... feel so down... although try to be hyperactive.... but is it the real hyperactive?....... so many things i need to do next week... can i finish them all?
WPD assignment
nursing management challenge question
nursing management assignment
still have that stupid research thingy... still have tampines and yishun
next week moving house somemore
working on 2 weekends... one full shift and got 1 day one shift....
how am i going to handle all this....so strESS
feel so lifeless recently... nothing seems to make me active... feel so down... although try to be hyperactive.... but is it the real hyperactive?....... so many things i need to do next week... can i finish them all?
WPD assignment
nursing management challenge question
nursing management assignment
still have that stupid research thingy... still have tampines and yishun
next week moving house somemore
working on 2 weekends... one full shift and got 1 day one shift....
how am i going to handle all this....so strESS
Monday, June 16, 2008
HAPPY:)
this few day dont need to work... practically slacking at home playing viwawa.. hehe... that sushi and match it game..... first time out of the 2 year i can slack for continuous 2 days... tmr morning need to work liao... but 4 hours only la...
this week project at hougang.... so gd la... 30 min before the meeting time then i left house... although i know for most of them, they are real tire... must jia you wor.... travellers' joy JIA YOU....
today early in the morning recieve a sms from geraldine... then i called her and chat for almost 30 min.... so many things happen in just 2 week time... but i really enjoy the 2 weeks of break i took from yoshi la... and best thing is this week i dun need go back also... so total 3 week away from yoshi... yeah... next week need to work liao... so sad.... i wonder why she give up the award... since she got the award, why don't she stay until she get the award....
then next week i moving house also... OMG... i'll be traveling from bukit panjang to kovan to work.... i wonder how will my working hours be like next week..... hope can get more hours ba....
this week project at hougang.... so gd la... 30 min before the meeting time then i left house... although i know for most of them, they are real tire... must jia you wor.... travellers' joy JIA YOU....
today early in the morning recieve a sms from geraldine... then i called her and chat for almost 30 min.... so many things happen in just 2 week time... but i really enjoy the 2 weeks of break i took from yoshi la... and best thing is this week i dun need go back also... so total 3 week away from yoshi... yeah... next week need to work liao... so sad.... i wonder why she give up the award... since she got the award, why don't she stay until she get the award....
then next week i moving house also... OMG... i'll be traveling from bukit panjang to kovan to work.... i wonder how will my working hours be like next week..... hope can get more hours ba....
decision
haha... decided... shall not quit cold storage... this is my final year... if i keep working so much, i might neglect my studies... since cold storage gave me so short hour, at least i can have more time for myself right... wahaha... last night really abit mood swing.. haha... i shall stay at cold storage ba... yohooooohoo got to go out le.... projects again... hope i can happy projecting ba
Sunday, June 15, 2008
whats happening?
i can't believe it. i have an intention to change job. its just 2 month ago i found this job and now i have a intention to find another one. what's wrong with me? last time i hate changes. that's why i still at yoshi for 2 year.. unwilling to adapt to new environment, unwilling to learn new things. but i finally took out that step out and now i'm thinking to start all over again at a new place... i must be crazy le right... then today someone told me something which i think wake me up... and i learn something too la... last time when i use to teach counter crews in yoshi, i hate ppl who just learn and just when they are stable, they left... but that is what i'm going to do.... how will those people who taught me before feel?
but on the other hand, one of the reason why i want to left yoshi is also because of money... i need money... not only to spend, but also to pay my school fee. that is why i work so hard at cold storage. forcing myself to work at the beginning because at first, it is really tough. i got to force myself to learn fast. the forcing myself to adapt the place. the main reason is i want to earn more $$. agreeing to work full shift, wanting to work full shift... how much i wish i could be other, going out on weekend... but still i work... now is holiday and it is the best time for me to earn half of my school fee for next sem... although with that stupid project, i still can work... but.... what will i be doing next week? slacking... i dun wan... i need $... but they dun need part time that much le.... i know that. but what am i suppose to do now? school fee will be deducting soon and here i am cannot work... i really feel very irritated.. at yoshi, i feel that i'm just a ball.. which outlet need me for PQC or to push up the sales, they will put me there for attachment. till now, although i had being working at great world for so many months, my name is still under clarke quay.. so what i get good comment from service i have given to customer? NO USE... at cold storage, i feel like a spare tyre... when they are short of staff, i can work.. when they need staff, my working hour will be cut... is this what a part timer deserve?
i want to quit... but i cant..... and i dun feel like quitting.... sound so crazy....
what am i suppose to do? what can i do? i'm so lost... so tire...
can tell me what to do?
but on the other hand, one of the reason why i want to left yoshi is also because of money... i need money... not only to spend, but also to pay my school fee. that is why i work so hard at cold storage. forcing myself to work at the beginning because at first, it is really tough. i got to force myself to learn fast. the forcing myself to adapt the place. the main reason is i want to earn more $$. agreeing to work full shift, wanting to work full shift... how much i wish i could be other, going out on weekend... but still i work... now is holiday and it is the best time for me to earn half of my school fee for next sem... although with that stupid project, i still can work... but.... what will i be doing next week? slacking... i dun wan... i need $... but they dun need part time that much le.... i know that. but what am i suppose to do now? school fee will be deducting soon and here i am cannot work... i really feel very irritated.. at yoshi, i feel that i'm just a ball.. which outlet need me for PQC or to push up the sales, they will put me there for attachment. till now, although i had being working at great world for so many months, my name is still under clarke quay.. so what i get good comment from service i have given to customer? NO USE... at cold storage, i feel like a spare tyre... when they are short of staff, i can work.. when they need staff, my working hour will be cut... is this what a part timer deserve?
i want to quit... but i cant..... and i dun feel like quitting.... sound so crazy....
what am i suppose to do? what can i do? i'm so lost... so tire...
can tell me what to do?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
the better me..
well. today a new day again..... wahaha... my post for yesterday seems a bit hurting... well, i'll be strong and continue with my work at cold storage... why should i bother abt ppl in yoshi when i'm working in cold storage right. and why should i let those ppl in yoshi to spoil my day? that place had already cause me to have so many problem.... and yesterday i also learn one thing...
problem happen when u think it is a problem...
sound quite weird... but nevermind.... haha...
the happy and active me is back... wahaha
later will be going to bukit timah to do that project... hope everything will goes well ba... haha...
got to go do some housekeeping liao....
bye:)
problem happen when u think it is a problem...
sound quite weird... but nevermind.... haha...
the happy and active me is back... wahaha
later will be going to bukit timah to do that project... hope everything will goes well ba... haha...
got to go do some housekeeping liao....
bye:)
i hate my surrounding
i'm so piss off by everything around me... losing control over everything. don't even know where to start.
firstly, i'll never trust anyone around me... none of them can be trusted.... i trusted u and share my problem with you. yet when i realise that i seems like being make use by you, i tell u something not true and test whether u will tell others anot... yet u did... you told her and maybe i should thanks you. Because of you, i realise that she is a same kind like you. maybe in that stupid company, everyone is like this ba... all are the same... good at making use of people. trust me, one day u will be make use by others too.
school fee is here again... yes, again.... $1000 plus again. where the hell i'm going to get these money... just save to that amt yet got to use up again. then after grad, that will also means that i cant pay to my father CPF immediately again. that will also means that i cant even take a break after grad. i must go striaght to work or else i'll face $$ problem again. i can even have my own saving even after leaving house for 2 years. i'm such a failure... i hate life. i hate people around me. i hate myself. have being hurting myself again. the bad habit is back again. when will i be able to stop this time? how long will this last this time?
cold storage is still the same... $$ never tally. the enthu me is no longer there. is all my smile real? am i really happy working there? should i continue there? feel like taking a break yet my condition dosen't allow me. then that research is taking up alot of time too. my life now is just surround by cold storage and research survey. next week, yoshi might come in... shall take a longer break for yoshi ba. since 1 july will be my 'last day' in cold storage. taking a break in yoshi shouldn't be a big problem le. sometimes we must be selfish de. since cold storage can give me the pay i want, why should i waste my time there giving mailers, and wasting all my energy doing housekeeping. wasting my time working at the rate of $3.70, might as well go to a place where they pay hire and best part is i dun need to keep smiling...
got to end here and go to sleep liao.. night
firstly, i'll never trust anyone around me... none of them can be trusted.... i trusted u and share my problem with you. yet when i realise that i seems like being make use by you, i tell u something not true and test whether u will tell others anot... yet u did... you told her and maybe i should thanks you. Because of you, i realise that she is a same kind like you. maybe in that stupid company, everyone is like this ba... all are the same... good at making use of people. trust me, one day u will be make use by others too.
school fee is here again... yes, again.... $1000 plus again. where the hell i'm going to get these money... just save to that amt yet got to use up again. then after grad, that will also means that i cant pay to my father CPF immediately again. that will also means that i cant even take a break after grad. i must go striaght to work or else i'll face $$ problem again. i can even have my own saving even after leaving house for 2 years. i'm such a failure... i hate life. i hate people around me. i hate myself. have being hurting myself again. the bad habit is back again. when will i be able to stop this time? how long will this last this time?
cold storage is still the same... $$ never tally. the enthu me is no longer there. is all my smile real? am i really happy working there? should i continue there? feel like taking a break yet my condition dosen't allow me. then that research is taking up alot of time too. my life now is just surround by cold storage and research survey. next week, yoshi might come in... shall take a longer break for yoshi ba. since 1 july will be my 'last day' in cold storage. taking a break in yoshi shouldn't be a big problem le. sometimes we must be selfish de. since cold storage can give me the pay i want, why should i waste my time there giving mailers, and wasting all my energy doing housekeeping. wasting my time working at the rate of $3.70, might as well go to a place where they pay hire and best part is i dun need to keep smiling...
got to end here and go to sleep liao.. night
Sunday, June 8, 2008
""HOLIDAYSSSS""
common test had ended... officially my 2 week holiday has start... yet, technically i dun have holiday because of that stupid project... well, since i promise myself i'll try my best, i'll not give up persuading people to let us do this survey. haizzzz
yesterday and today i had being busy working at cold storage... i realise that i'm no longer as enthusiastic as the first month i'm working there... Oh no... am i losing interest again in a job?
that is what happen to me at yoshi... but why cold storage only 2 month plus i'm sian liao? yoshi i still can work for 2 years plus then feel tire and sickening of that job. but for cold storage, i duno how to explain la... last time when i saw long queue, i will speed up and try to clear my queue asap.. but now, for explain today, when i see the queue, i just carry on the SAME SPEED.... although i tell myself i need to speed up, but.... WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?
lost my name tag today... but duno why it ended up at pujin counter top... really very happy when i saw that name tag again... hee... will be more careful next time...
i saw aunty kee leng today... i really wonder if i had choose the right place to work... kovan got so many yoshi ppl around, yet i choose that place to work...because its near my place ma... but there are ppl thinking otherwise... i realise that i still miss yoshi quite a bit....
shall stop here liao... or else if continue, it eill be endless again liao.... goodnight
yesterday and today i had being busy working at cold storage... i realise that i'm no longer as enthusiastic as the first month i'm working there... Oh no... am i losing interest again in a job?
that is what happen to me at yoshi... but why cold storage only 2 month plus i'm sian liao? yoshi i still can work for 2 years plus then feel tire and sickening of that job. but for cold storage, i duno how to explain la... last time when i saw long queue, i will speed up and try to clear my queue asap.. but now, for explain today, when i see the queue, i just carry on the SAME SPEED.... although i tell myself i need to speed up, but.... WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?
lost my name tag today... but duno why it ended up at pujin counter top... really very happy when i saw that name tag again... hee... will be more careful next time...
i saw aunty kee leng today... i really wonder if i had choose the right place to work... kovan got so many yoshi ppl around, yet i choose that place to work...because its near my place ma... but there are ppl thinking otherwise... i realise that i still miss yoshi quite a bit....
shall stop here liao... or else if continue, it eill be endless again liao.... goodnight
Friday, June 6, 2008
AH-> TTSH->SGH
its not fair for me lor. when i'm year 1, i'm posted to Alexandra Hospital.... Year 2 Tan Tock Seng... now year 3, they are posting me to SGH>>> SINGAPORE GENERAL HOSPITAL... i think when i graduate, i choose changi hospital better... then i'll have gone to all the gov hospital liao... I WANT TO APPEAL.... hope can get TTSH ba...
tomorrow work cold storage... i'll jia you de:):)
tomorrow work cold storage... i'll jia you de:):)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
feeling so sad
i feel so sad.... later DD common test... what the hell lor.. now 3 plus le i still duno wat i'm studying...,
feel so bad.... everytime cold storage call to ask me whether can help in the night anot, i feel so bad because everytime i can't... last week because promise to meet someone liao... this week because common test at 6 later... i really feel so bad la.... i shall commit every wednesday night to help them starting from next week onwards.... realise that they usually down staff on wednesday de... well shall go to work every wednesday night ba:)
help i really need help for my common test... i totally no interest in continuing... lost my attention liao.... omg.. why did i change so much?....
feel so bad.... everytime cold storage call to ask me whether can help in the night anot, i feel so bad because everytime i can't... last week because promise to meet someone liao... this week because common test at 6 later... i really feel so bad la.... i shall commit every wednesday night to help them starting from next week onwards.... realise that they usually down staff on wednesday de... well shall go to work every wednesday night ba:)
help i really need help for my common test... i totally no interest in continuing... lost my attention liao.... omg.. why did i change so much?....
Monday, June 2, 2008
common test period
so fast common test again.... school seems to start not long ago. now common test liao... this time common test i feel very weird sia... how much i wish i can score well for this term. yet i totally lost my interest in studying... tmr paper @4pm. now 11pm le and i just started revising... i'm just digging my own grave. i dun feel anxious like what i use to feel during common test... instead, i feel like dropping out of the course... i really duno why la....
yesterday went to my friend's father wake.. somehow realise that a person work so hard and will still die. what for working so hard sia.... my friend is really a very strong girl... hope everything will goes well for her after this happen...
feel like resigning cold storage and yoshinoya at the same time. i enjoying the money i earn from cold storage... compare to yoshi, yoshi is pathetic de low lor... but find working at cold storage really stress..... why my counter can never tally no matter how hard i try to make it tally.... feel very disappointed when i saw the money not tally....
my aunt went back to australia already... this time she came here and went canada foe a holiday... when she came here, she ask me whether i have any plans to go australia to take degree... somehow feel very pressurize... didnt really plan to further studies since poly life is already killing me....
well, got to go back to study le.. no matter how much i hate studying, i want to get it done and go... hee.... jia you shuwan..... i can do it de.... yeahhhhhh
yesterday went to my friend's father wake.. somehow realise that a person work so hard and will still die. what for working so hard sia.... my friend is really a very strong girl... hope everything will goes well for her after this happen...
feel like resigning cold storage and yoshinoya at the same time. i enjoying the money i earn from cold storage... compare to yoshi, yoshi is pathetic de low lor... but find working at cold storage really stress..... why my counter can never tally no matter how hard i try to make it tally.... feel very disappointed when i saw the money not tally....
my aunt went back to australia already... this time she came here and went canada foe a holiday... when she came here, she ask me whether i have any plans to go australia to take degree... somehow feel very pressurize... didnt really plan to further studies since poly life is already killing me....
well, got to go back to study le.. no matter how much i hate studying, i want to get it done and go... hee.... jia you shuwan..... i can do it de.... yeahhhhhh
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