his suddenly appearance

today he appear. suddenly.. stunt... duno what to say at a moment.. keep telling myself i had to be normal. his just a ex manager. he is just pig head... when he left for his dinner, i start to think, just when everything getting back in place, he appears.. lost at the moment... cat had be more initiative compared to the past... more caring....
i'm being unfair... i know it's unfair for cat... i'm bias... but..... i shall let it go smoothly ba. shall not be like last time... but..... what if both happen at the same time? who will i choose? this qn i ask myself again today... although the ans is the same, but this time i hesitate for a min b4 giving myself that same ans... why? is it because of that night? i dunoooooooo...

anyway, enough of relationship stuff le... let me had a space for work.. work in hospital is not smooth at all... its confirmed that my confirmation won't be next month... er... in another words, yes, i had being extended for my prohibition.... although disappointed, but, time for me to reflect also la...

i miss cold storage

haiz... working at hosp had nv being smooth sailing... today actually is working there morning then going to cs and enjoy myself to the max de... end up just when i open my eyes, ward call up... it's jy... she just say i'll be working night shift today. my mind went blank sia... really blank de lor... wat abt cs? who is able to cover me over at cs side?
haiz... end up i still cant find anyone to help out... really feel very bad and sad la... end up tonight will be short of 2 cashier.... arghhhhhhh...

working is so tiring... esp hosp.. temper getting more and more bad. k can no longer smile at work le.... occasionally yes, so some of my patient..... but other then that i can smile at all le..... what to do? what can i do? i really tire le.... trying to tell myself i can do it de... end up keep falling down.... out if those same batch with me de, i think i'm the most useless de ba....haiz..... tmr will be a better day ba... hopefully night time nothing will happen ba.....

so stress

so many things flashing through my mind.... what if i just disappear from the world... what happen if something i fear the most happen?
i'm pulling myself to work...
i'm dragging on

relationship?

i gave up waiting le... 9 months le... ad when i called u last night, the tone u gave me make me understand that no matter how long i wait, it will still be the same... well, the next time if we had a chance to go out again, i believe it will more like going out with a causal friend instead of a special friend ba... of course there is that bit of disappointment to me. but then i realise, letting go of u seems easier compare to pig... i'm such a failure... 2 person that i like, ended up need to give up...... i'm tire le,.... truly tire of liking someone.... especially pig,.....

well, i should say, i having a freedom life again... but deep inside me, i'm still thinking of pig.... cat i'm not worried since we will still be friends just that i will have less expectation from you... but for pig, i know it very clearly that i'll not have anymore contact with him le.... haiz..

got to go to worki again liao... fighting war again...