someone piss me off that day i work full shift. act clever. told him to wait but he think he very old bird. do on his own. i hate this kind of ppl. serve him right if he get into trouble.
this few days had been sms cat.. duno why more frequent then normal. and every time will have something that can make me smile.... crazy me.... trying his best to suit my time, at the same time i'm trying to make sure not to forget the timing he set it as free... i'm nuts de...
although ocassionally i'll still think about you. still wish to see u everytime i work in cs. but i know very well that not seeing u is good for me.
will be organizing a buffet again. will you appear? i duno. but will still invite u. whether u turn up anot is up to u.
my status now is single but not available. no one else can enter:) i'm satisfy with the current status even though it means i have to wait. sometimes i may complain. sometimes i will feel like giving up and find a new one.. but i know at the end of the day, i'll choose to wait.... crazy crazy crazy me.....
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
thoughtss
today met up with fourth aunt. she pass me a pic of my grandma funeral. i was 4yr old then.
have many wild thoughts after seeing that pic. will my grandma be proud of me being a nurse? how nice will it be if my grandma is still around. i envy those with grandma around them... i have none... oh, have one god-grandma.... my father de god ma... but i still miss my grandma... for all i can rmb, she really very dote me de. always carry me even when she is ill.
today i get confirm le. sis lim give me the appraisal to sign.. shld i be happy? i duno... but feel so tire of working life.... every day nth but work work work.... feel so meaningless. yet i cannot dun work also. feel so emo now... for whatever reason la. realise that working had make me change in my temper...
to xy, i'm sorry...
to jj, promise i'll give more time out to go out tgt de
after cny, will start giving a serious thought of finding a higher pay job le.... haha
have many wild thoughts after seeing that pic. will my grandma be proud of me being a nurse? how nice will it be if my grandma is still around. i envy those with grandma around them... i have none... oh, have one god-grandma.... my father de god ma... but i still miss my grandma... for all i can rmb, she really very dote me de. always carry me even when she is ill.
today i get confirm le. sis lim give me the appraisal to sign.. shld i be happy? i duno... but feel so tire of working life.... every day nth but work work work.... feel so meaningless. yet i cannot dun work also. feel so emo now... for whatever reason la. realise that working had make me change in my temper...
to xy, i'm sorry...
to jj, promise i'll give more time out to go out tgt de
after cny, will start giving a serious thought of finding a higher pay job le.... haha
Monday, February 1, 2010
at the verge of giving up
today start work... hoping can go home by 1015... looking forward....
but i'm wrong.. 4 empty bed given to me.... then come the admission one by one.. at the end of the shift, all 4 empty bed is occupied.. 1 drug abuse. 1 anemia. 1 TB, and the last one asthma.
second time i cried... today is too busy until i cried. asthma patient suppose to go the other team since the management ppl planned to put in other team de. end up due to bed not ready, the clerk say put in your bed 89 can. i jus look at her, up to u lor. and i walk off. i have 1 blood transfusion gg on, thart time was 815 and i was still serving medcine, none of my report is done. wtf is this.
well, tonight i ended with one eHOR, 1 transfusion that cannot finish and never prepare new admission tmr de medicine. i wasted one unit of platelet. the platelet didnt went into the pateint. its not connected also. i feel so guilty. i feel so stress up. ppl out there asking for blood donation and here i am, wasted 1 unit of platelet. i feel so tire being a nurse. the feeling of giving up is growing stronger and stronger in me. one day it will get too big for me to control and that will be the day i tender and resign le....
but i'm wrong.. 4 empty bed given to me.... then come the admission one by one.. at the end of the shift, all 4 empty bed is occupied.. 1 drug abuse. 1 anemia. 1 TB, and the last one asthma.
second time i cried... today is too busy until i cried. asthma patient suppose to go the other team since the management ppl planned to put in other team de. end up due to bed not ready, the clerk say put in your bed 89 can. i jus look at her, up to u lor. and i walk off. i have 1 blood transfusion gg on, thart time was 815 and i was still serving medcine, none of my report is done. wtf is this.
well, tonight i ended with one eHOR, 1 transfusion that cannot finish and never prepare new admission tmr de medicine. i wasted one unit of platelet. the platelet didnt went into the pateint. its not connected also. i feel so guilty. i feel so stress up. ppl out there asking for blood donation and here i am, wasted 1 unit of platelet. i feel so tire being a nurse. the feeling of giving up is growing stronger and stronger in me. one day it will get too big for me to control and that will be the day i tender and resign le....
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