recent updatess

the feeling of missing someone is miserable...
when will i be able to let go of him?
when is there going to have a full stop to this sad story?
is he just trying to make fun of me?
or is he bother by the age gap?
does he really have a girlfriend that is about to get married?
i just need to know the ans before i can move on. that's the one ans i want for now.
thinking of him whenever i hear old song. and the more i wanted that old song.
those song he had sang before that night.
i'm lost...

going to start work later liao... the stressful work.
start to have the thought of giving up my current full time job and join cs as full timer again.
the thought of I GOING TO START NIGHT SHIFT THIS SUNDAY really make me feel tire even before i start.. whats wrong with me?
how hard i have work for the past 3 yr to complete this course and here i am, thinking of giving up after less then 6 months after i start work. WHAT"S WRONG WITH ME?


anyway, for last week and the past few days i working in cs, its really fun, crazy and cui..
really tire. but its fun... chiong long queue. calling mummy mummy and mummy.... i really love my cs mummy... she is the chief cashier la.. i can share all my unhappy things with her. except for thing abt PH. haha... last week really long hours of working, but really enjoy those time there... next week although i off for many days, but will be gg out many days la....haha... tuesday night, wed night, sat whole day and sunday whole day... oh on.... pay just came and here i am going to spend so much so much,...

well, shall go off and prepare for work liao... on, i should say, prepare for war liao... shall update again soon.,...

anyway, just a word to my special friend... working so hard to stop yourself from thinking will only make u think more when u rest. looking at the way you are working now, its time for u to cut down even more le. enough of chionging le. avoiding really cant solve the problem. be strong, face it. its time for you to get a long rest also le... yes, i still avoiding my problem. but i need an ans to decide whether i should put a fullstop anot. i dun want to repeat like last time. putting a fullstop and regretted just because of what he say and i thought its is impossible.
this time, the fullstop will totally end the story.

AL over

so fast, one week plus de AL over le....... this whole week i think spend most of my time at cold storage ba... 59 hours last week. this week almost collapse from working... tmr starting work liao.. sian is the only word tt can describe my feeling right now. maybe because i have work too much liao.. play too much till no heart to go back to work ba... all the best to me ba. 3 afternoon shift starting tmr then 2 night shift... looking forward yet there is still fear for the night shift. i'll be junior in charge leh... one whole row somemore.... haiz...... wish me good luck ba..

next week is his bdayh le... will be celebrating for him..but somehow i feel that its one one.....
although here i am planing for his bday, yet, deep down i'm missiong someone else
why dun u reply my sms?
u are the one who start the story again after i had end it. since now u are the one who start it, u should be the one putting a fullstop. why r u avoiding it? i'm still waitning for ur reply and i'm ready to face the answer.. how much i wish u know how i feel. i believe u should already know, but why cant u just face it?

time really flies

i'm now 3 month old staff nurse le... and i'm enjoying my AL now. tmr will be back to work for 1 day because of that baldder scan course. anyway, today within ine day, i spend more then $300 buck. on specs, on food, on transport...
today i saw him again. never say much. realise that dun need to say anything. just looking at him from far is enough. knowing wat he doing. seeing him concentrating on his work is so cool.
somehow i still feel the disappointment. the feeling of being abandon. duno why. still have that little expectation. the way he look at me really show something different. i know it. he know it also. but... we still cant... we still cannot overcome that problem ba..

i wish i can see him again soon

i start to wonder

is it worth it for me to torture myself like that?
what do i really want for my life?
is it worth for me to wait for u so long?

i'm tire of waiting.
i'm tire of working.
i duno what i want.


why am i so foolish?
why am i so indecisive?


i hope i can be more firm
i hope i can be stronger
i hope i can be less stubborn

did i choose the wrong path?

why am i so weak?
why am i such a failure?
i feeling so down.....

anyway, thanks for being there...
u make me understand why i'm working so hard
u make me understand its worth for waiting for the past few months