realise that so long never update my blog le... so many things happen, so many changes... keeping to myself...
today i think should be able to release it all ba..
my life routine is still the same... work work work.. free time only out with 2 grp of friend... one is cat and the other is my cs clicks...
last thursday wen out with sec sch friend... once so close yet feel so far now... she is not is only one that i feel drifting away la.. but she is the one that i feel sad for drifting away... she accompany me when i just left my hse.. my lowest nights she is there.... now it seems like we are from 2 diff world.... her thinking, my thinking... haiz.... the gap is so big... within 3 years....
working life is tough esp when holding not only one job... the more i work in cs, the more i wanted to be back to normal life... holding only one job. but i know it is impossible.. whenever i step out of cs, i will think of when is my next working day... what is wrong with me? i duno... start to feel more and more irritated working in cs with those ppl. but... there is something that hold me tightly over there.... the more i work, there are more ppl i dislike. is it really my short temper problem getting worst?
working in hospital is even more worst.. morning shift stress over timing.. always scare that i'll be late... then afetr that stress over wok... endless work to complete... afternoon shift stress over what time i can finish my work... although i'm getting more use to this kind of life, but also realise life is so unpredictable. patient come and go... planned for home, or just waiting for time to come... those i still can accept... but abt those that come in very ill, then almost fully recover le, went for procedure, come back le suddenly left? till now, almost 3 weeks had past, but i still can't get over it. she is the one that i do admission, from very ill to fully alert, able to talk, when for operation. before i go off in the night still can say goodbye to me, next day i mc, then my off day,... went back to ward, recieve the news that she past away 2 hours after she say goodbye to me. how can it be... how can i accept this...
till now, i'm still very emotional to some of my patient... i still need some time to get over this....
then my luck recently so GOOD... patient fall purposely, patient handphone lost, patient complain abt me... omg... whats going on.....
think i had complain enough and release enough le.. time to go sleep le... tmr starting of the week, hopefully things will be better for me ba
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