PRCP!!!!

wow... 9 hours from now i'll be in TTSH in my nursing uniform starting my PRCP(Pre-registration-consolidation-programme) so fast... everything seems too fast... years 3 le... going to graduate le....

sometimes i wonder am i the one who had change or people around me change... jus for example someone who i can be so close with last time now seems like a stranger to me. maybe i don't know you well when i first know you ba...

my life seems to go round within my work place... what am i trying to run away from? am i just trying to numb myself or am i really working hard for $$?

what i waited for might be a waste.

i going crazy soon. real crazy... real mad. for the past 6 months i in cold storage, i didnt resign yoshi... i had be trying my very best to give them schedule. even to the extend of once a month. reason is because i want the service excellent award... that is all i had being waiting for. but now, i might not have a chance to get it le... Aziz purposely hide it from me. called ronald in the morning and he told me that they throw away that memo already. then just say counter now no staff and ask me call back later... wth la.... what am i suppose to do? i so so lost and tire now... why had i wasted so many time in yoshi? why am i so stupid? later will be working agin. from 3-1030... just feel tire and i'm lost agin........ lost my directions again. how am i going to get my cert?
next week PRCP starting liao. how prepared am i?

finally updated

well, i'm really too too busy with my work and too crazy with my work until i don't have the time to update my life at all.
my 6 weeks attachment is finally OVER... now i'm "ENJOYING" my holiday....
during this few weeks, so many things happen until i really duno to start from where. haiz... my attachment ended with a surprise grade. didnt expect myself to do well in 11B. but the result came to me and i'm shock... anyway, thanks CI... and my PRCP attachment is out. i'm posted to 7C... i wonder will i be able to perform there... i'm still o fear again.... the fear of starting all over again.... haiz...
next is working... havent been going back to yoshi to work for almost 1 month le... and tmr i'm going back... haizzzzz... and i'll be working at harbourfront.... where all the nightmares and disappointed started. agree to help out aziz. the GWC is now under sharon... and jay... omg la... then i really wonder should i go for the yoshi D&D anot... since i'm not getting the cert and there are so many people who thinks that i had resign and know that i had resign, what for i go right. HAIZZZZZ really hope that my PRCP rooster will save me from going to the D&D ba.
geraldine came to cold storage on monday afternoon. so surprise to see her. but the feeling is no longer so real. its so fake liao. haizzzzzz........

recent updatessssss

wow... unknowingly, i havent being posting for almost 1 month... oh no... shall update more tonight... this few weeks is full of happiness and unhappiness sia... and i'm so so busy and tire... still the same... i'm putting my concentration mostly on attachment and cold storage... yoshi? keeping but didnt give any schedule. shall update more on what happen recently tonight ba...
need to go off to attachment again liao

myself?

i hate times when i'm having mood swing... i'm not having PMS ok... i'm jus duno why... just feel so moody... feel like having someone to chat with but can't find anyone... so many problems trapping inside me.... family problem is really suffocating me.... how much i wish i can go to a place where no one knows me and start all over again....
I"M CRAZY.... i will be working in yoshi this thursday... when i not working, i feel very bad.. so i gave them schedule.... but when i give them schedule, i feel like slapping myself... i feel so so stupid....
am i too noisy? am i too hyperactive? am i too fake? can someone tell me? maybe a quiet me will be better ba.....

I HATE MYSELF

WHY THINGS ALWAYS GOES THE WAY I DON'T WANT.. HAD A BAD QUARREL WITH MY PARENT AGAIN... YES, AGAIN... AND ITS EARLY IN THE MORNING.. AND THE ISSUE IS OVER MY SISTER AND HER BABY... THEY BLAME ME FOR INFORMING AUNTS... BUT ITS IT A OCCASION THAT IS WORTH SPREADING THE NEWS ISN'T IT... BUT THEN I GET A HELL LOTS OF SCOLDING OVER THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING... OF COURSE CRIED LE... THEN NO MOOD WORK, LONG QUEUE SOME MORE... HAD BEING WORRYING WHAT IF MY PARENT CALLED COLD STORAGE,.... WHAT IF THE GO DOWN AND FIND TROUBLE FOR ME,.... WHAT IF THIS WHAT IF THAT... I HATE THIS LA... I LEAVE YOSHI PARTLY IS BECAUSE OF THIS, THINKING THAT IN COLD STORAGE I CAN START ALL OVER AGAIN BUT I THINK ALL THIS WILL END SOON....
WORKING IN COLD STORAGE FOR 5 MONTHS LE. SO MUCH OF HAPPINESS AND UNHAPPINESS LA... BUT REALIZE THAT I CAN LIVE HAPPIER WITHOUT YOSHI.... START TO WORRY WHAT IF THOSE THINGS REALLY HAPPEN? I HAD TO RESIGN AND START ALL OVER AGAIN? HOW MUCH MORE ENERGY HAD I LEFT? TODAY AT COLD STORAGE ALTHOUGH I STILL VERY NOISY AND HYPERACTIVE,BUT ITS ALL JUST FOR SHOW. JUST TO FINISH MY SHIFT, EAT AND THEN GO HOME. TODAY I JUST FEEL LIKE BEING ALONE......
I ALWAYS TRUST THE WRONG PERSON YET I STILL DUN CHANGE... U ARE NOT WORTH MY TRUST AT ALL....
I HATE MY LIFE.... WHAT IS THE USE OF LIVING IN A LIFE FULL OF HATRED, REGRET AND UNHAPPINESS.....

I WANT TO COMPLAIN

EVERYONE GETTING THE SAME $10 per day.... BUT WHY AM I KEEP DOING FEEDING TURNING FEEDING TURNING AND U ALL GET TO DO SUCTION AND INSERTION OF NGT
ITS MY CUBICLE AND I SHOULD BE THE ON DOING RIGHT.... I PREPARE ALL THE THINGS THAT IS NEEDED FOR NGT INSERTION AND YOU JUST NEED TO SAY I HAVEN'T DO BEFORE CAN I DO AND I HAD TO LET YOU DO... BUT WHEN U ARE DOING SUCTIONING, I'M BUSY FEEDING... ITS NOT FAIR LA....MY CUBICLE GOT 4 NGT FEEDING... ONLY ONE DAY WHEN CI IS ARD U CAME OVER TO HELP.... ALL OF THEM ARE SO HYPOCRITE... WHEN CI IS AROUND, SO HELPFUL, WHEN CI NOT AROUND U ALL ARE JUST HELPSELF OR RATHER HELPFOOL... I HATE THIS GROUP..... WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO COMPLETE ALL MY SKILLS WHEN I'M ALWAYS STRUCK AT FEEDING? TMR MIGHT BE HAVING 5 NGT LIAO... OMG... NEW CASE STROKE AGAIN... I DIDNT GET TO DO NEW ADMISSION... WAS ON BREAK... I'M JUST SO SO UNLUCKY...

well, quarrel with my mother again.... how am i going to take it? 3 pm shift and 2 am shift, how can i still go shop to tidy those rubbish invoice.... say house got chicken soup want me to go home drink... u all is want me to go home take order just say la.... I HATE U ALL....

i don't even know how to love myself... how can i expect others to love me? i'm just destroying myself recently.... i hope i can stop it soon....

tmr morning shift... trust me, i'll recieve alot of help from those HELPFOOL people... and i'm the fool who don't dare to speak up.....