Say forever-哥哥妹妹
我一个人不孤单
想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂
欢寂寞的人怎么办
越过窗看着长街
欢乐却无声像一张卡片
灯光像繁星灿烂整条街
思念的情绪湿亮我的眼
我一个人不孤单
想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂欢
寂寞的人怎么办
我边想你边唱歌
想像你看着被感动了
我被抱着
眼泪笑了
围巾轻碰着唇边
有点暖的像亲吻的感觉
吐气变白烟飘过了眉间
撞上了怀念下了一阵雪
Say forever lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/Chinese-French/14245-Say-forever~GoGo-MeMe.html
我一个人不孤单
想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂欢
寂寞的人怎么办
我边想你边唱歌
想像你看着
被感动了我被抱着
眼泪笑了
气氛太美离你太远
有太多的幻觉
不能快乐不能改变
Cause baby i miss you
我一个人不孤单
想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂欢
寂寞的人怎么办
我边想你边唱歌
想像你看着被感动了
我被抱着
眼泪笑了
我被抱着
眼泪笑了
Say forever
Monday, June 15, 2009
thanks.
although now i'm flooded with so much problem.... but i'm glad that i have friends like you all. although i can;t promise i will not self harm, but i'll try to lesser the frequency of self harming myself. ok
what u and him say is right. i shouldn't do that to him. its not fair for him also.
can anyone teach me how to get the money back from someone u lent? the amount is not very big sum, but seriously i regret lenting it to her. well she say tmr she will transfer back to me. but i duno how to trust her again. some kind of ppl will never change. she don't deserve that kind of pity from me. she don't deserve me forgiving her. although that had happen almost 6 years ago, i had forgiven her and thought that we can be friends. but now thinking back, people never change.
why am i keep thinking of the past. especially recently lor. really keep thinking alot leh..... haiz... only if i can forget abt the past, i believe my life will be happier... seeing my nursing staff card, i really hope the name on it is shuwan... why can't i just let go and move on. i realise holding on make me feel so tied down.
I SHALL NOT CONTINUE TO BE THE ONE WHO INITIATE THE CHAT WITH YOU LE. SINCE I HAD ALREADY LET U KNOW,
I SHALL LET YOU BE THE ONE WHO MAKE THE NEXT MOVE. BOTH OF US MIGHT NOT BE READY TO BE TOGETHER, ALL I CAN DO IS TO WAIT BUT ONE DAY IF I DECIDE TO GIVE UP, I HOPE I DID NOT MAKE A WRONG CHOICE.
what u and him say is right. i shouldn't do that to him. its not fair for him also.
can anyone teach me how to get the money back from someone u lent? the amount is not very big sum, but seriously i regret lenting it to her. well she say tmr she will transfer back to me. but i duno how to trust her again. some kind of ppl will never change. she don't deserve that kind of pity from me. she don't deserve me forgiving her. although that had happen almost 6 years ago, i had forgiven her and thought that we can be friends. but now thinking back, people never change.
why am i keep thinking of the past. especially recently lor. really keep thinking alot leh..... haiz... only if i can forget abt the past, i believe my life will be happier... seeing my nursing staff card, i really hope the name on it is shuwan... why can't i just let go and move on. i realise holding on make me feel so tied down.
I SHALL NOT CONTINUE TO BE THE ONE WHO INITIATE THE CHAT WITH YOU LE. SINCE I HAD ALREADY LET U KNOW,
I SHALL LET YOU BE THE ONE WHO MAKE THE NEXT MOVE. BOTH OF US MIGHT NOT BE READY TO BE TOGETHER, ALL I CAN DO IS TO WAIT BUT ONE DAY IF I DECIDE TO GIVE UP, I HOPE I DID NOT MAKE A WRONG CHOICE.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
pouring it all out
I CAN'T STAND IT
yesterday change shift with peishan. end up i'm doing morning so was thinking of going back and stay one night. what happen? quarreling as usual. one way quarrel and i had to tell myself i cannot ans back.i need to quiet down. i need to ignore them. i need to control my temper. yes i did it. i did not quarrel with them. but what happen? i hurt myself again. something that i promise my aunt that i will not do it. but i did it again. so hard yet so painless.
HAD I KNOW THE 2 DRAGON SO USELESS, WOULD HAD THROW YOU ALL AWAY.(my younger sis and me)
U DON'T NEED COME BACK AND LOOK AFTER YOUR SIS STUDY LA. YOUR NURSING MORE IMPORTANT LA. PARENT ALSO DON'T WANT LA
and the same old things. talking about the past, bad mouthing abt my eldest aunt(baobei)
that that very moment, i really feel like get change and leave that hell immediately.
in hospital, patient treat us like maid. when reach home, i get this kind of torture. its even worst then working in the hospital la. my aunt say, if i move out and stay myself, i'll not eat well as i will neglect my meals. its true. that is why i agree to move back and try to adapt. but i told myself this. i rather stay out and neglect my meals, get malnutrition, or even die of hunger. i rather die of hunger then going back and stay. that place is really a hell to me,. its like, everytime going home, hoping for the best but i'm always getting the worst.
WHAT IS MY LIFE GOING TO BE IF I MOVE BACK PERMANENTLY?
yesterday change shift with peishan. end up i'm doing morning so was thinking of going back and stay one night. what happen? quarreling as usual. one way quarrel and i had to tell myself i cannot ans back.i need to quiet down. i need to ignore them. i need to control my temper. yes i did it. i did not quarrel with them. but what happen? i hurt myself again. something that i promise my aunt that i will not do it. but i did it again. so hard yet so painless.
HAD I KNOW THE 2 DRAGON SO USELESS, WOULD HAD THROW YOU ALL AWAY.(my younger sis and me)
U DON'T NEED COME BACK AND LOOK AFTER YOUR SIS STUDY LA. YOUR NURSING MORE IMPORTANT LA. PARENT ALSO DON'T WANT LA
and the same old things. talking about the past, bad mouthing abt my eldest aunt(baobei)
that that very moment, i really feel like get change and leave that hell immediately.
in hospital, patient treat us like maid. when reach home, i get this kind of torture. its even worst then working in the hospital la. my aunt say, if i move out and stay myself, i'll not eat well as i will neglect my meals. its true. that is why i agree to move back and try to adapt. but i told myself this. i rather stay out and neglect my meals, get malnutrition, or even die of hunger. i rather die of hunger then going back and stay. that place is really a hell to me,. its like, everytime going home, hoping for the best but i'm always getting the worst.
WHAT IS MY LIFE GOING TO BE IF I MOVE BACK PERMANENTLY?
Friday, June 12, 2009
i'm so LUCKY
today jus feeling mood swing. really bad mood lor. so many things flashing through recently... bad memories and good memories. make me feel like breaking down.... i start to harm myself again. after so many years, i started again. i know i shouldn't. i know i can't... but.... unknowingly.... I FEEL SO TIGHT... so many things make me feel like.... i wonder what am i doing in this world? if i don't exist, isn't it better? what different does it make?
i doubt i can survive my 6 months provision. i doubt i will be able to hang on long... i'm going to let go everything. and i know the day that i let go, it will be the end.
hamtaro, do u know that i'm looking for you? although u had once lie to me, but i seriously don't mind. i really miss you and really hope that i can contact u again. but u had change ur no. what am i suppose to do? how am i going to find you again.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
there is mouse in my house!!!
last night was chatting with my friend when i heard some funny noises
then i was shock thinking that it might be mouse since we are staying ground floor and had quite a few episode of mouse entering the house. but when i quiet down, the sound is gone. thought that its my imagination.
just now came back home with a bug horror. THERE IS A WHOLE IN MY BAG. inform my aunt that i suspected there is a mouse, she went kitchen and realise that her raw koropok that was left in a box on the floor also have sign of being destroy. the plastic also have whole. wth.....
this few day really tire. numbing myself so that i wont think so much, but it doesn't seems to help. the ward is really busy. non stop de turning, changing diaper, feeding. its just like a route.having backache and all sort of stupid problem. haiz... shall update more next time. time to go to sleep liao.
then i was shock thinking that it might be mouse since we are staying ground floor and had quite a few episode of mouse entering the house. but when i quiet down, the sound is gone. thought that its my imagination.
just now came back home with a bug horror. THERE IS A WHOLE IN MY BAG. inform my aunt that i suspected there is a mouse, she went kitchen and realise that her raw koropok that was left in a box on the floor also have sign of being destroy. the plastic also have whole. wth.....
this few day really tire. numbing myself so that i wont think so much, but it doesn't seems to help. the ward is really busy. non stop de turning, changing diaper, feeding. its just like a route.having backache and all sort of stupid problem. haiz... shall update more next time. time to go to sleep liao.
i learnt
sometimes its better not to be too curious.
sometimes its better not to know too many things
when things get more and more complicated, i start to wonder. if in the first place i don't know all these things, isn't it better?
will history really repeating itself again?
will i lost friends the way i lost last time?
what happen last time doesn't seems to bother me.
but what's happening this time is really haunting me.
i don't want to lose friends like u all.
I DON'T WAN TO KNOW THE THINGS THAT I KNOW.
i don't want to hide things from u all anymore.
how can i unload all the things that i know?
with you all around, my laughter seems more real to me.
no longer smile and laugh for the seek of hiding and faking
its real. laugh till i can't stand
laugh till i stomach cramp
laugh till i keep running to the ......
will that ever happen again?
i seriously have no answer to that
sometimes its better not to know too many things
when things get more and more complicated, i start to wonder. if in the first place i don't know all these things, isn't it better?
will history really repeating itself again?
will i lost friends the way i lost last time?
what happen last time doesn't seems to bother me.
but what's happening this time is really haunting me.
i don't want to lose friends like u all.
I DON'T WAN TO KNOW THE THINGS THAT I KNOW.
i don't want to hide things from u all anymore.
how can i unload all the things that i know?
with you all around, my laughter seems more real to me.
no longer smile and laugh for the seek of hiding and faking
its real. laugh till i can't stand
laugh till i stomach cramp
laugh till i keep running to the ......
will that ever happen again?
i seriously have no answer to that
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
going out tmr
this few days had being feeling very tire. maybe because of working too much and stressing myself over my family problem ba....
and i start to wonder if i should give up on you anot.
i don't know what is my position to you.
i don't know am i good enough to be with you anot.
i don't know why am i waiting
i don't know if i should continue to wait anot.
for all i know just enjoy going out with you
for all i know i had being waiting for u for 6 months le.
i wonder how long more do i need to wait
i wonder what if i like someone else during this period, what shall i do (although i know this won't happen, but what if)
and i start to wonder if i should give up on you anot.
i don't know what is my position to you.
i don't know am i good enough to be with you anot.
i don't know why am i waiting
i don't know if i should continue to wait anot.
for all i know just enjoy going out with you
for all i know i had being waiting for u for 6 months le.
i wonder how long more do i need to wait
i wonder what if i like someone else during this period, what shall i do (although i know this won't happen, but what if)
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