Holidaysss

will be going to redang in 11 days time... yea... my first trip in my life and i'm so long forward for it la.. although only 4 days, but still make me so excited... but the bad think is i'm down with very bad cough.. 1 week plus le, but now its on recovery le.. hopefully before the trip i'll fully recover ba.
i'm having holidays now... my final holidays before i step into the working world and the next time i enter the ward, i'll working as a staff nurse le. no longer a student nurse.. wow...

yesterday went for TTSH interview.. everything went by smoothly. should be able to get the job... but i'm still scare.. will i be able to do a good job? will i be a good nurse? i dont know. anyway, hopefully i can go back to ward 7c ba..

cold storage is giving me lesser schedule.. so many ppl on hoildays now... xianyan, pujin, susanti... and me... wah.. so naturally me schedule is lesser lor. i want to give yoshi but then their pay is pathetic. most likely will find a job when i come back from holiday ba. wendy ask me go back mussels guys at vivo. but then should i? the place that bring so much of saddness. does it worth going back there to work?
shall think abt it when i come back ba...

finally come to the end.

so fast 3 years of poly student life is gone. suffering is over... haha... thinking back, for these 3 years i should say what i gain the most is getting to know this particular group of friends.... doing project together... making my poly life so colourful.
i should say thanks so much... whenever i'm feeling down u all will be there for me to cheer me up. i throw temper at u all, but u all will never get angry with me. haha... now thinking back, those memories are sweet and bitter.. thanks for being there for me... thanks for tahaning all my nonsense sometimes(i should say is most of the time ba) haha... really hope that even after grad, we can come out together...

MOoD sWinGGGG

all i want now is someone to chat with me. i just feel so irritated. so frustrated. yet....
i should say i'm very very disappointed with you. am i the one who had change? change to be more sensitive? i don't know.

you may not be reading this, you maybe reading this,. but i dun care. i need a spaces to vent it all out. i keep telling myself its not your fault. its me who is too sensitive and demanding for your time. but i realise i'm wrong. feel so so irritated by you now.

when friends need others, others will be there. but when others need friends, will they be there? i doubt so.............. i

yeahhh... tomorrow my last day in ED.. part 1 of my nightmare is over. part 2 will be coming next week. haizzzzz... operation threatre. streSS again... i think it will be colder then ED ba..... hope everything will goes well smoothly....

chinese new year had just pass. all i can say is this is a tiring and hard work year... since eve of new year eve till the second day of new year, i had been working non stop... i should say till now i still havent got a one day off ba... haha... i choose not to... why should i.... no work no $$ leh.... haha...

got to go to sleep le.. tomorrow moving half of my things to my sixth aunt house... yeah.. i'm moving again.... moving to bukit panjang.... and I"M GOING FOR A HOLIDAY THIS MARCH.... I"M SO LOOKING FORWARD FOR IT...... GOODNIGHT

just wanting to vent my anger and unhappiness

why must u hide things from me? sometimes i just wonder, am i really that useless? after trying for so hard to please you, u still unhappy with the hard work that i had done. my standard is always not up to your standard. everytime i look forward for you praise, i end up with listening to the complain that u had. i try very best to make it as clean as possible, but..... almost 3 years le. i never hear any of you praise. yes, i'm lazy, i like to sleep. but thats all because i'm too tire. trying to earn more so that i dun have to get money from you. Trying to earn more so that u will not be worry about me not enough money to use. trying very hard yet effort not recognize and the worst part is u dont trust me... hiding from me and i feel so sad..... suddenly i feel like i'm in a world, with full of people around me yet i can't share 100% my happiness and unhappiness. whenever i feel like telling u abt my unhappiness, u will just make me shut up by saying u don't wan to talk. am i really a irritating person to you? do u know how much i had feel like giving up.

i can't even call u now. well. fine. i shall be on my own. i'm really very disappointed. i can't blame u at all. this is the path i had choose and u are already kind enough to let me stay with you right. all i ask for is can u just show some concern to me. is it really that difficult?
if i do silly things again, will u know? will u notice? will u ask? i doubt so..

PRCP....NIGHT SHIFT IS NIGHTMARE

haha... time really flies...almost 3 weeks never update on my life le... really no time.. I'M LACK OF SLEEP... serve me right actually. giving yoshi so many days.. still have cold storage and prcp...
anyway, i'm done with my 2 rounds of 3 nights shift... my second round can say is a torture cause helen is not with me.. can say i'm quite lost. and i'm torturing myself by working my part time job after my night, end up sleeping less then 5 hours for te continuous 3 days... so can imagine how tire i am le ba... haiz....

i start to regret alot of thing in my life.
things that i shouldn't do.
things that i never cherish,
things that i should have done
decision that i should have make,
if life can restart with just a button like a machine, will life be better for me?
when u want something so badly, u got it, but u wont know how to cherish it, how to make good use of it, what is the purpose of having it? what is the purpose of fighting for it so hard in the beginning?

i miss alot of people... mrs mona, u are one of them.. everytime i think of u, i regret. i should have make a point to meet up with u just as what i had promise u. but i didnt make it. and u didnt wait for me either. u just left without even seeing me in my nursing uniform. 2 years+ had past. i still miss u badly. i still want to thanks you for all the encouragement u had given me. although i wont be able to see u again, but i;ll remember all the encouragement words u had said. and in a few month time, i'll be a full pledge nurse already. although life maybe tougher then now, but i;m prepare. i know that u will be proud of me. i know u will be smiling. mrs mona, i'm finally going to make it.. although there were so many times i had wanted to give up, so many times i feel like dying, but i'm going to make it. thanks mrs mona.. i miss u and u will always be remembered

i so stress by all the people asking me for schedule... excuse me, i'm a human.. stop asking me for schedule schedule schedule... i need time for myself also...

got to go now liao.. or else it will never stop....

am i thinking too much?

well.... disappear for quite sometimes... nothing much happen ... as usual, work work prcp prcp..
did my first round night and well quite fun and quite torturing also..
as for cold storage, nothing much also.. something happen and were quite shock... and yea.. there are a number of new comers...
as for yoshi, sometimes i just wonder and u guys trying to stress me by asking me for schedule so tight that i resign automatically? that is the kind of feeling they gave me la... haiz...
shall end here and go to sleep liao... all the best wor cindy, connie, lishan adeline and yun ru... i miss all of u badly...
i lost my phone recently... could everyone just sms me and kindly tell me who u are... thanks

i miss my phone

when i had my phone with me, i always think that the phone is old, the paint had came off, i want to change my phone. now i had lost it... i realise i take it for granted... i had lost all the contact.for all the ppl reading this, pls sms me your number.... i had problem waking up without my phone also... although jia lent me her spare phone but still.... haiz....

everyone wanting my time... cold storage, yoshi, where i can find so many timesssss for you all.... haizzzzz.....

working like nobody business... stressing myself out... i'm thinking negatively again... negative thoughts flooding into my mind now.... do i make a different in the world??