ending

marking the end of a relationship a few days ago....
sms-ed him to end it totally..
i dun wan to continue to feel like hanging in the air....
this time round i didn't cry..
he blame me for not thinking of his feeling... but has he think of mine? is he around when i need him the most??? does he know how i feel after that?
heard from someone that he came down cs last night but i was away for awhile... suddenly i wanted to see him so badly... but i stop.... i know since i ended it, i should end it clearly... i'll stay strong... i'm not looking forward a new relationship at this very moment... just want to be alone.....

had my hair rebond and cut my fringe.... look weird... but will get use to it soon ba i believe......
start to have a cough again... this time round, feel so breathless and tightness.... arghhhhhh..... hope i'll get well soon...
D&D this sunday... wohooohoooo

V&C course

or ya, something to be happy about... i'm going venipuncture and cannulation course liao:) after much much much insisting, my ward sister finally slot me into one of the day liao... wahahaha... 3dec i;m going for the course..... 3 dec... reminds me of one of my grandma (my closest uncle's mother) death anniversary... 1997 till now.... i can still rmb how she dote me even i'm not her real granddaughter... i can still rmb how she is abuse by her own son(my uncle elder brother) i can never forget how she is being lock in the house with no gas to cook and my aunt has to buy food for her... she cant even get out of the house cause the gate is lock... although that son had passed away, but i'll never forgive him for abusing elderly.. and that son last day of funeral is my birthday a few years back..... time can wash away hatred... but in this case, it just seems hard to forget..... it will just reminds in my heart.... maybe because i'm too young at that time and appreciate this grandmother alot ba....

the power of song....

listening to one song just now.... somehow a few drop of tears flow down...... lyrics very true...
在愛裡連真心都不能給 這才真正的可笑
well, the status i'm in now is just a status.... true fact is its just like being single.... freedom is what i get.... no more reporting, lesser sms.... peaceful life... the sad period s over le.... the holding on period is over le.... today u came cs... my mind seems more calm le... no more sadness. no more feeling of wanting to cry.... instead i feel like ending it totally.... and i know something for sure... i will not cry like what i did last time... how funny it is.... ur mum came in the morning and then u know that i'm working and u came in the night.... i already never tell u where i'm working and where i'm working.. but how come u know? so many other time i work and nv saw u, yet how come today so qiao, saw ur mum, and u came in the evening??? ur mum also seems like wanting to ask me something in the morning and i accidentally cut it off.... what is it? and u came in the evening, just saw me and walk off...we seems like stranger now..... further and further we are drifting... maybe ending it dun even need to say ba.....

now i'm just living a peaceful life... (touch wood first) quite smooth also:P haha... both work seems like going quite well except for occasionally fu..ing customer and patient:)
life going round with working working and video and my aunts:)
next week will be slightly more busy with EOL(end of life) course, ade chalet and xinyi kite flying... the bad part is chalet and kite flying timing crush a bit... haiz... shall see how first...

after next week, i'll be free:) after next week i'll be re-bonding my hair, then cs few days full shift, then cs D&D:)
haha... and i'm getting night shift super often this few weeks... every week i have night... cool.... although a bit tire but thinking of the money (i dun mind actually:P) haha... jia you ba.. shuwan... i can do it de.. wahahah

anyway, to a friend-> thanks

just a thought of mine:P

my current location now typing this post is at my ward.... the ward i'm working in... looking after those "monkey" that will climb out of their beds....

so many things going on.. i'm so busy recently.... attending the ce training in the evening, morning working in cs... and there goes my 3 days off days... today back to work le...

back pain cum shoulder pain... am i getting older??? no more energy like last time... 1 full shift in cs is really killing me...

but i need the money... i need to save for my oversea studies 2 years later... determine. a 1 year study in perth to obtain my degree cert....

maybe i dun even have 2 years to save... maybe only 1 and a half year only... but no matter what, this time i'm determine to leave.

previously given the chance yet i refuse to go... now, i need to work hard to go.... weird me... maybe i realise that no point feeling bu she de.... no point staying behind for friends and work... they come and go... who will stay will stay... just like wingting, even she went oversea to study, whenever she is back, me and sinyee and her still can meet up and had endless chat... 12 years friendship... it can really last... no need to be physically around. jus like jia... we work tgt for 1 year? maybe even lesser then that... after she left till now, we are still as close....

if a friendship is meant to last, it will really last...
if a friendship that is fragile, no matter how hard one try, it will goes as the time passes by.....
no matter how one wish to salvage that friendship, it will not be back if it meant to leave.....
no need extra effort... no need frequent meet up... this is what i learnt from sinyee wing and jia:)

wondering

i also never eat bao today... but i 'bao' one case..... today's case is quite different from the previous few case that i pack.... although death is expected within a few days for this patient, i see how their family family react when the news is announce to them... breaking down... seeing body over and over again.... life is unpredictable and even those that are sort of expected de, it is hard for them to accept....

anyway, that's work....
wondering what's in your mind...
what are u thinking?? ur action give me a lot of question marks...
even if the question is unsolved, i'm still very contented with what was given to me....
thanks.....

arghhh... tire

now is already 3am.... later working at 7am... dun dare to sleep... scare over slept.... arghhhh.... so tiring... 10 days straight work... its killing me.... upside down... back ache like no body business... anyway, he is back from reservist liao... is it a good news????
one more thing.... cat in thailand finally reply my e mail le... at least i know that he is safe.....
this 2 weeks had turn me back into more independence le.... stronger too:) but also with alot of regrets.......

life shall move on the same as it is now...... be it good or bad, i'll not drop anymore tears....
i'll be strong and life goes on.....

before sentencing death to someone, really appreciate if u can let the criminal know what crime they make....

????

trying hard... but still hoping that we can talk...... arghhh