just now a friend sms me to go out for a drink next week... it was then that i know she knows too much of me.... those hurting part as well as those personal things.... it make it wonder.... can friends be really trusted? this cause me to be over sensitive... went to ask another friend of mine who knows this issue.... for this i apologize, sorry.... and i should said, those two friend are my close sec sch friends... can trust last long?
had gone through a very difficult... this week seems like so difficult till i duno how to stand up. i duno how to be strong again... i use to be able to hand all problems, and after a cry, i'll be alright... no matter how hurt it will be, the next day i'll be able to put up the smile and face the brand new day start a brand new life again..... but this time, i'm really defeated.... i duno how to stand up... i duno how to face life... i duno how to be cheerful again.... no matter how hard i tried, i'll end up crying again.... lost count of the no of time i cried.... lost count of the no of time i break down and hurt myself....
i know what has being done cannot be undone... and even given another chance, decision will still be the same. but, why can i stand up just like last time? last time parent writing letter in NP, parent slapping me in the public, all sort of things i can be handle and face it but y this time round it seems so hard? i really dun have the energy le... thought of those foolish things, self harming again... and what is next? i dun dare to think of it
i really want my life to move on... but why does it seems so hard?
i want to be strong or even stronger... but what is it that is stopping me????
i want to dry my tears and smile again... but why is my face still so wet???
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