so fast august liao...
july was happening.. went to genting with him... sch holiday for 1mth.. sad thing is my uncle health flashing red light...
now everything is over. my uncle health ok le... but still quite worry because thought it might be cancer relaspe... but lucky, everything is over now....
haizzz. i'll updae more tonight ba.. got to prepare to go sch le... sad sad...tire to the max
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
June... A month full of trouble
Time pass so fast... Heehee... My exam ended.. I finished my first semester in uni already.. Hopefully I can pass both unit.. Sociocultural is so tough... Haiz... Writing craps during exam.. Hopefully miracles happen... End of one sem=sch fee for the next sem gg to due.. Got to pay next week.. Haiz...$$$$ flying off again..
Thought that exam over I can at a moment relax my mind and get ready for the next sem. But I'm wrong lo... Last week my uncle found a lump behind the ears... See dr, referred him to AH.. Accompany him go... Seeing all the test done on him, my heart hurt.. Thinking of possible lymphoma, I fear.. Fear of losing him.. Since he already had a history of that 16yrs ago.. Someone that close to me, yet haven let him enjoy much, he got to suffer... Drs said, infection might cause lymph notes enlarge also.. But it might b cancer too.. Now got to wait for the biopsy result.. I'm really scare... Dun dare to slp, fear waking up with him gone... I thought I could handle it well since I'm a nurse... I had face quite a number of death... I thought I could b strong if things happen, but... Share my sadness with cat, I realise he is cool.. With his father condition deteriorating, his godfather got the same condition as his father..cancer... He is cool, calm in handling his emotion.. I salute him more...
I going to genting!!! With him.. Planned it before my exam to motivate me to study... After exam excited and looking forward... Although now the excitement lessen due to my uncle condition.. But still I'll make sure I enjoy myself this trip cos I know after this trip, I'll b back to fight the war.. Tgt with my aunt, my cousins and my uncle if the result is really cancer. Pray hard it is just infection for the time being.
My poly friends gg aust to study le... Did I make a right choice to study in sg? So coincident my uncle health problem cane by, I convince myself that I make the right decision.. But... Why am I still feeling so sad that I'm not gg with them? Why am I having the feeling of 不甘心？deep down inside me I know... I wanted to go v much... But I know I make a right choice...
To my parent: u might not agree to my decision. But pls respect it.
Thought that exam over I can at a moment relax my mind and get ready for the next sem. But I'm wrong lo... Last week my uncle found a lump behind the ears... See dr, referred him to AH.. Accompany him go... Seeing all the test done on him, my heart hurt.. Thinking of possible lymphoma, I fear.. Fear of losing him.. Since he already had a history of that 16yrs ago.. Someone that close to me, yet haven let him enjoy much, he got to suffer... Drs said, infection might cause lymph notes enlarge also.. But it might b cancer too.. Now got to wait for the biopsy result.. I'm really scare... Dun dare to slp, fear waking up with him gone... I thought I could handle it well since I'm a nurse... I had face quite a number of death... I thought I could b strong if things happen, but... Share my sadness with cat, I realise he is cool.. With his father condition deteriorating, his godfather got the same condition as his father..cancer... He is cool, calm in handling his emotion.. I salute him more...
I going to genting!!! With him.. Planned it before my exam to motivate me to study... After exam excited and looking forward... Although now the excitement lessen due to my uncle condition.. But still I'll make sure I enjoy myself this trip cos I know after this trip, I'll b back to fight the war.. Tgt with my aunt, my cousins and my uncle if the result is really cancer. Pray hard it is just infection for the time being.
My poly friends gg aust to study le... Did I make a right choice to study in sg? So coincident my uncle health problem cane by, I convince myself that I make the right decision.. But... Why am I still feeling so sad that I'm not gg with them? Why am I having the feeling of 不甘心？deep down inside me I know... I wanted to go v much... But I know I make a right choice...
To my parent: u might not agree to my decision. But pls respect it.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Life
So stress up.. Studies studies and studies. Exams coming in less then a month time but I totally have no mood to revise. Sociocultural... I dun even know to start revising from where. Bioscience.. I lost my confident..
Sometime I just felt that I'm so weak. People might say I'm strong able to handle 2 jobs and 1 studies. But to me, I'm just so weak. I can't manage at all. I feel like giving up everything. Why must I b working so hard? Why other people can enjoy studying with parent sponsor yet I got to study secretly?
Other parents are proud that their child taking degree.. But my parents? All they know is asking me to treat for birthday, treat for mothers' day. Have they think of how I struggle with my life?
My aunt putting high high hopes on me. But how much does they know what I'm gg thru?
Why cant I be like any other girls at my age, enjoy working or studying? Why must I have to face all this rubbish.
I tried so hard to please everyone. But who ever try to understand me?
Sometime I just felt that I'm so weak. People might say I'm strong able to handle 2 jobs and 1 studies. But to me, I'm just so weak. I can't manage at all. I feel like giving up everything. Why must I b working so hard? Why other people can enjoy studying with parent sponsor yet I got to study secretly?
Other parents are proud that their child taking degree.. But my parents? All they know is asking me to treat for birthday, treat for mothers' day. Have they think of how I struggle with my life?
My aunt putting high high hopes on me. But how much does they know what I'm gg thru?
Why cant I be like any other girls at my age, enjoy working or studying? Why must I have to face all this rubbish.
I tried so hard to please everyone. But who ever try to understand me?
Upset
I'm also a human. I also know what is jealous. Dont always think that I'm the only one at fault and you have done nothing wrong. How many chances I gave you. How many times u disappoint me? Again and again and again. Now turn back, all my fault again.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
studiessss
disappeared in march.. was really busy recently until i dun even have time to sleep....
arghhh... i'm a student le... good and bad...
decided to take up degree course... secretly.. actually wanted to let my family knows de but end up.... parent asking for monthly allowance when they got to know that i going for further studies.. irritaed.. they think that i have $$ to go study so sure have to give them.. they think my sch fee cheap meh... haiz..so i told them i not gg to study le. decide to put brace instead.. good think is they believe lah...
so now financially consider really tight.. or rather very tight... every 4 month got to pay sch fee... $3900.. every month got to pay dental $160+ for braces, monthly rental cum phone bill cum internet around $200.. credit card bills haiz.. $500++
so thought of temporary stopping cold storage while studying.. but now i think cannot le.. got to have a very good time plan for both my studies and work...
assignment is my biggest headache now... sociocultural... omg.. what has nursing got to do with that sia... haizz 1800 words due next week... today tried to do end up doze off halfway,... ward 7 calls wake me up... asking me to do night shift today.. lucky.. tmr got one day off.... tmr going out with cat... after that hope i can concentrate to do my assignment ba..
recently can feel that the distance between cat and me is nearer.. going out every week, and we are going genting in july!!... looking forward... but before that i must settle my exam first...
before sch start i'm so confident that i can concentrate in studies.. but now.... i realize it's really not that easy... feel so shag everyday...
how then can i get over this 16months?? i need this degree i know... i need this cert for a better sercure of my job.. i want to stand more firm.. but it seems really tough...
i had left 7c for 3 months le... adapting well in this current ward.. getting along well with the staff here.. hopefully things will remains this way ba...
my birthday passsed by quietly... 24 this year le... so fast... left hse 6 years, independent 3 years.. sometimes thinking back, i'm actually quite tire of being strong... i seems to be strong in the surface.. but inside me, i feel so lost.. da gu now has little cute Earnest need to take care... contact me also lesser le.. but little Earnest is really cute, really clever... but with him, whenever i'm lost i tend to contact her lesser cos she also having problem with taking care of him and getting along with caifong.. telling her my problem i scare i'll stress her more... so now got to either swallow it if not look for si gugu...
r/s with my elder sister also closer recently.... surprisely right.. nv expected it but due to some reason, we get much closer now...
i miss da gugu. si gugu, san gugu and sixth aunt....
arghhh... i'm a student le... good and bad...
decided to take up degree course... secretly.. actually wanted to let my family knows de but end up.... parent asking for monthly allowance when they got to know that i going for further studies.. irritaed.. they think that i have $$ to go study so sure have to give them.. they think my sch fee cheap meh... haiz..so i told them i not gg to study le. decide to put brace instead.. good think is they believe lah...
so now financially consider really tight.. or rather very tight... every 4 month got to pay sch fee... $3900.. every month got to pay dental $160+ for braces, monthly rental cum phone bill cum internet around $200.. credit card bills haiz.. $500++
so thought of temporary stopping cold storage while studying.. but now i think cannot le.. got to have a very good time plan for both my studies and work...
assignment is my biggest headache now... sociocultural... omg.. what has nursing got to do with that sia... haizz 1800 words due next week... today tried to do end up doze off halfway,... ward 7 calls wake me up... asking me to do night shift today.. lucky.. tmr got one day off.... tmr going out with cat... after that hope i can concentrate to do my assignment ba..
recently can feel that the distance between cat and me is nearer.. going out every week, and we are going genting in july!!... looking forward... but before that i must settle my exam first...
before sch start i'm so confident that i can concentrate in studies.. but now.... i realize it's really not that easy... feel so shag everyday...
how then can i get over this 16months?? i need this degree i know... i need this cert for a better sercure of my job.. i want to stand more firm.. but it seems really tough...
i had left 7c for 3 months le... adapting well in this current ward.. getting along well with the staff here.. hopefully things will remains this way ba...
my birthday passsed by quietly... 24 this year le... so fast... left hse 6 years, independent 3 years.. sometimes thinking back, i'm actually quite tire of being strong... i seems to be strong in the surface.. but inside me, i feel so lost.. da gu now has little cute Earnest need to take care... contact me also lesser le.. but little Earnest is really cute, really clever... but with him, whenever i'm lost i tend to contact her lesser cos she also having problem with taking care of him and getting along with caifong.. telling her my problem i scare i'll stress her more... so now got to either swallow it if not look for si gugu...
r/s with my elder sister also closer recently.... surprisely right.. nv expected it but due to some reason, we get much closer now...
i miss da gugu. si gugu, san gugu and sixth aunt....
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Orientation in curtin Singapore
Waiting in the lecture hall, today is the orientation day... Haha.. I'm a curtin student now taking part time degree. Sitting here I start to wonder if I can make it to graduation. With renci work and cold storage.. Now with a night class.. got to really plan my time more carefully le....
Ytd went out with cat.. Should I consider that as v day celebration since today he working and I got orientation? Lol.. But really enjoyed ytd dinner at traders hotel:) <3 haahaaa.. Really nice food... Walk from orchard to traders hotel thought will be v far.. But, it's really near with him around.. Slight disappointment cos no flower but expected it.. If got flowers, then I'll b really surprise.. Haha.. Actually now thinking abt it, I dun mind remaining in current status... I dun want to neglect him after I start my classes.. I just afraid I'll not have time to pei him after my class start.. Hopefully won't ba.. Got to plan wisely le..
Ytd went out with cat.. Should I consider that as v day celebration since today he working and I got orientation? Lol.. But really enjoyed ytd dinner at traders hotel:) <3 haahaaa.. Really nice food... Walk from orchard to traders hotel thought will be v far.. But, it's really near with him around.. Slight disappointment cos no flower but expected it.. If got flowers, then I'll b really surprise.. Haha.. Actually now thinking abt it, I dun mind remaining in current status... I dun want to neglect him after I start my classes.. I just afraid I'll not have time to pei him after my class start.. Hopefully won't ba.. Got to plan wisely le..
Sunday, January 8, 2012
IT'S 2012
wow... so so busy recently till 3 it's already 2012...
well, now at work, quite free and also feel like blogging out what happen recently....
well, now at work, quite free and also feel like blogging out what happen recently....
I have move hse to amk le... moving hse is so troublesome and tiring.. anyway, i'm enjoying my small and cosy room
celebrated christmas and new yr... christmas was a belated christmas with him,.. happy happy....
new year celebration didn't goes well. meet up with poly close friends hoping that can have a good catch up with them.. it end up quite unhappy gathering.then after that got a small arguement with him... anyway, that arguement with him resolve in just a day..
got the news that my family someone is pregnant.. so naturally i thought that my sister-in-law is pregnant since this yyear is a dragon yr... however, i was told that no, i might be a sister this time not aunt... WHICH MEANS THAT MY MUM MIGHT BE PREGNANT... OMGG
hopefully its false alarm ba
i'll be transfering to renci this month... somehow felt being abandon... but its ok.. no0w i felt happy and relieve to be transferred.. find it pointless continue working here...
shall end here... and shall update again soon.. btw, being able to get a 70% from him i'm really happy le:)
shall end here... and shall update again soon.. btw, being able to get a 70% from him i'm really happy le:)
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