2015.... Hi....

2014 ended with loneliness n sadness.. That's also the way I started 2015... 

Realize I really lost Sinyee as a friend.. Didn't expect 15years friendship is so fragile.. 

Dec promotion is out.. Well.. Fated not to get promoted in 2014.. No matter how hard I work.. No matter how much time and effort I put in.. Requested day off all not approve.. Tire and sick still crawl to work.. What's the point? Only end with disappointment.. 

When voice out to that cat... He take it as small issue.. Yes it's small issue.. But he duno how much that mean to me.. Since last day of 2014 till now, no words from him... TO HIM, WHO AM I????

2015.... 

Meet a guy online... Sounds good but phobia stopped me from moving on.. 

He came back... Ya... P came back to look for me.. Met him last night.. I realize he had changed a lot a lot a lot.. Feels like a stranger to me now... 

2015, will it be a nice year? Or will it be same as last few years being cruel to me??? 

Sick

This year really very happening. Went to a&e twice... Both due to gastric pain.. Worst still yesterday the dr wanna admit me but I refuse. Tmr clinic appt.. I think I'll just face it. Agree to go do scope ba.. Something I wanted to avoid but seems like it's time I face it le.. 

He really disappoint me yesterday. It was his off day. Actually wanted him to accompany me to go a&e cause I'm scare. Asked him if I should go and can he accompany me, I cried when he reply.. He reply: Go lo. Not like I'm of much help even if I go. Why will I fall in love with this kind of guy!!!! Upset to the max..

Mid 2014

Time really flies... Already mid 2014!! This year, my health start to flash red light. Having v bad gastric pain till I visited ED. A very scary experience. Especially when I'm alone.. Slow down my pace for life this yr. working less n traveling more:) 

March: I went to Melbourne again. This time with my fourth aunt. Really enjoyed it a lot!!! 

May: I went to taiwan!!!! With wing ting and Sinyee.. Although not as good as I thought due to the traveling partners.. But nice experience.. 

Came back n I'm done with v bad gastric pain:( still recovering n I hope to recover real soon:) 

This year, manage to spend more time with uncle:) happy moment, seeing him smile.. His health did improve a lot. Also though he is still on many meds everyday, but he is back to work. Can see that he is much more happier compare to last time:) hope this can goes on:) I feel so blessed n contented with my life now... Happy!!!

another 4 months...

wow... time really flies....
another 4 months had past..
sometimes i just wonder, why is my life so happening....
so many things happening everyday, every week, every month...

since young, i wish i could have a elder sister who care for me, love me, and dote me just like my cousin.. finally after i left hse, i thought my wish finally come true.. my real elder sister.. she cares for me. Listen to me and understand me. after that, she starts to share her problem with me..
next she ask me for help financially. then i agree to be her guarantor. she promise she will make payment on time. few months later i receive call from the bank saying that she default her payment. not one month.. is 4 months. i told her and she make payment. few months later i recieve call again. i told the bank that I'm the guarantor and I'll contact her for payment. its was then that i was told i'm not the guarantor. I'm the account holder!! i wonder, why am i such a fool. why do i buy her words and believe in what she says.. anyway, its too late for me to do anything. got to just bear with it. but something i learnt is i'll never trust anyone including my own family..

someone appears into my life.. someone who likes me.. but i think at my current state, i'm not ready for another relationship. not for the time being. and the someone seems to have left me after that.. i thought we could be friends.. but.... quietly after few months he left... although we still keep in touch, but we keep a distance as well.

as for eddie... i had accepted the fact that we are good friends... slowly, i'm returning to my own world... a world that belongs to ME!!! alone yet happy me!!! i believe time will wash off the love that i had in him and making our friendship stronger. i'm not upset that we cannot develop into the kind of relationship i wanted to. instead i'm happy that i found a true friend who has the same liking in idols and hobby in eating buffet!!

just wish that my life will just move on peacefully...

i pack my very first case in this department. a very sudden collaspe.. and passed away.. felling sad for this patient and his family, but i believe its a learning path for me..

as for my uncle.. although he is taking 10 tablets every morning... but he is back to his normal!! and he doesn't requires blood taking every week!!!! seeing him happy, eating well... and most importantly by my side.. i'm contented.. and i'm going to invite him to my graduation ceremony. he is going to see me going up the stage collecting my degree cert!! can't wait for that day to come!!!!

well i'm going to sign off le.. feeling sleepy now.. hopefully my next update will not be 4 months later.. haha..

neglecting here yet realising this is the only place i can let go

ooops... i went missing for another 4 months again before entering to post on my blog.
maybe due to studies and work... really shag me out totally ba..

as usual, life is so happening... to a extend i nearly cannot take it.....
my closest uncle's health deteriorate, having to go for coronary plasty and put stent... at that very moment, i realize how important he is to me... even though i had to travel daily to NUH from TTSH to visit him, after night class going to visit him... i don't mind.. and at that period of time, my highlight of the day is to have dinner with him....
something to be happy about now is he is recovering well... although he has to take 10 tablets of meds every morning, with a very high dosage of blood thinning medicines, at least he is still with me.... and at least he is still so cute and lovely... not forgetting still the same stubborn and sometime like a kid... making gugu angry really make me wanna laugh.... just that now, he seems to be not that cheerful like last time.... but i promise myself, i'll definitely spend more time with him... i'll cherish the time that is left. at this very moment, i know i want him just to be happy...

3 April 2013,
i lost a very good friend, a very good manager.....
roger aka zhu tou(PIG HEAD) left.... to a better world....
his departure is sudden.. till now i believe many of his friend still cannot accept it...

4 April 2013,
i'll definitely remember this day....
7 years ago, i left home to pursue what i want to do
7 years later, i send my friend a very good manager off his last journey...
it is also the day eddie requesting me not to treat him like someone special...
although quite hard to take it... but i still have to take it

till now.... more than 1 month had past.... roger's death and eddie's request... i'm still learning to accept....
manage to go out a few times with eddie after he say that.... manage to cover my saddness....
went to watch da cuo che last sunday with him.... nice show... and ya... i think i have learnt.... how to cherish friends and family members.... so long as they are around and is happy, i think that all i want....

its 2013

wow.... unknowingly, i had 4 months never update my blog already.....
saying goodbye to 2012.....
welcoming 2013....
but i started off 2013 badly..... just the beginning of the year, i'm down with very very bad fever cough and flu.. what a way to start a new year...

2012 had past... things that happen in 2012 should let it pass too right....
his departure in my life.....
my departure to shift work life....

2013 started off with ding dang concert....
followed by a very bad cough....
omg... now with fever also...
what a way to start off for 2013...

i wish to be with him..
but i don't wish to get ignore by him
when i'm sick, where is he?
i just wish he can show some care for me also so hard ma?

bye july... hi August...

so fast august liao...
july was happening.. went to genting with him... sch holiday for 1mth.. sad thing is my uncle health flashing red light...
now everything is over. my uncle health ok le... but still quite worry because thought it might be cancer relaspe... but lucky, everything is over now....
haizzz. i'll updae more tonight ba.. got to prepare to go sch le... sad sad...tire to the max