i can't be bother

life is always the same. pack pack pack. nowadays, i realise i just cant be bother with friends around me. what they want to do and what they did that i don't like. i realise that i wont comment on things that i'm unhappy anymore.

friday when working at yoshi, i saw someone. someone who reminds me of the past. the hidden past. i wonder for a sec whether should i say hi to her. i did in the end. and had a small chat with her. so many memories flash back. secondary 3 life. those things that happen that make me change so much. things that make me understand that i can't trust anyone including good friend. things that make me learn that there is no one that that will treat each other truly. well, i had to learn how to hide all my feeling in front of my friends. i miss the sec 2 me... since sec 3 till now, i still can't find back the old me who had much more trust in friend. that fight, that exams, and that habit i had.. it all started with her and "L" its times for me to let go. but can i really let go? going to 5 years le yet i still dream of those days sometimes... omg... sound horrible, but the image will flash through my dream sometimes.


brother wedding is finally over. yeah....

i did something very bad just now. i know this will cause another quarrel but i just don't like. ya, i'm bad. i'm stubborn. i'm bad temper. but that is me. so be it. i can't be bother... still prefer to live in my own world.

stressful life

thing isn't going well for me.. by right tomorrow i'm working at yoshi. told her last week and guess what, shu called me at 4 plus today asking me why am i still not there yet. last week i had told her so many times last week that is week i can only work friday and she just ya ya ya... then when i ask her if this friday i'm working she just say yes without telling me that thursday i'm working too. i'm really so disappointed. CL is really right. if a manager is really good, i won't feel so unhappy working le. maybe she just appear to be good ba,,, haiz... tmr i work from 4-close... she might be closing manager. i really feel so unhappy working now... who ask me to overspend so much....



anyway, today recieve a very shocking gift from jasmine. tarot cards... i'm really very surprise la... year 1 i went to her house and got attracted by those cards... now year 3 le, she still remember. i'm really so touch la.... thanks jasmine...



feeling that friends are drifting apart... there was once i thought, after poly life, will we be able to keep in touch and remains friends or will we just become one of the passerby friend in each other life.... i think, to them, i'll be one of the passby ba..


anyway, got to end here le... damn tire and need to do that NSL assignment... so sad....

everything is my fault

its all my fault for being so hot temper and unreasonable. its all my fault for throwing temper at you. io had being trying to keep my temper down. i hate myself. but i dun like ppl telling me what to do when i didnt even try the thing yet. i kept quiet for the first time, but second time she say that again. well, everything is my fault. i;m unreasonable. but why in the sms u say that i always treat u like that and never treat one of our group friend like that? what has it got to do with her? i wont do that to them is because they never tell me what to do. i'm always the one asking them what to to when i duno or when i had try and cannot make it. then i'll ask them. not like you. when kylie and the trainer just told us what to point, before i can see my PDA, u told me what to do. why can't i explore it then u tell me?


mood swing had being my biggest problem recently. i try to control. be it at work or in sch.
i always try very hard to control. listening to music. trying to avoid people. well. best thing is to avoid all the people around me. maybe that is the best ba:)

busy as usual

So many things happen recently.. so many till i duno where to start from liao....
firstly, last friday we were learning how to draw blood from real human and i was poke 6 times. i volunteer. then now my hand got 2 blue black. now thinking back, quite worth it because i saw how nervous people is when they are doing for the first time. my first and only victim is jasmine. really thanks so much to her. my hand is really shaking la.. heeeheee. but manage to get it in the end.... thanks so much to this friend...

secondly, cold storage.... i really enjoy working there.... not the people there is nice. but its really challenging. wow... 18k for my counter that day. so happy la.... not all the ppl there are bad la. only some. there are some good ones also. but are they really good? or are they just wearing a mask? in cold storage i learn one lesson. there are ppl who can really hypocrites and wear a mask in front of u and backstab u until u also duno why u die. its very horrible de lor.
thirdly, yoshinoya.... all i can say is i really loss interest in working there liao.... everytime going to work is like feeling so wasting time.
fourthly, this week is so pack and i'm so lack of sleep. I WANNA TO SLEEP. weather killling me. goodnight...
oh ya... when to meet up with pig family just now... so happy everyone try to make it and everyone turns up... esther, junwei, boonkeng, qingrong, zhiwei, and tian tian thanks so much:):)

why do i feel so sad?

today everything goes very well until night time. for no reason, i'm crying. oh no....i dun want to keep crying. today suppose to be a happy day because my aunt is coming back from Aust. i was looking toward this day coming. yet because of this, i had being giving myself so much stress. all this is yoshi fault. i want to find time to pei my aunt yet i still need to work tomorrow. i really hate working at yoshi. facing that mdn who will only know how to eat snake by standing at the counter, and the other aunty who dun like mdn. i need to tell that aunt that mdn is not that bad after all. what the hell la. i really hate this working environment. then still have so many spys around. haizzzzz

i wonder how to stop crying now. i'm so tire..... tomorrow will be another tire day. haizzzzzzzzz

happening life

i'm making full use of the time recently... Did so many things to the extend of only sleep 4-5 hour for continuous 2 days.. furthermore is weekend.. the days that i can get more hour of sleeps....

Cold storage is really a stressful place to work in. From the moment u enter the counter to the moment u go break, u work non stop. then after break to
the time u end your shift, there is also non stop de.. Legs are breaking. so physically tire from standing and taking heavy stuff like rice and soap powder. didnt realise that those things are so heavy until i start working. mentally tire from memorising the code and studying in sch. when reach home still need to tire my room. my room is going from neat to untidy liao. i need to start that. then still have the drug discovery last weekend. friday do till very late.

what am i working so hard? earn more and spend more. i really need to cut down my expense. i'm going too far. haizzz....

handling cold storage and studies and already so tough. i still need to give yoshi once a week of my time. really duno why am i so foolish. why clement can dont work for so long and his name is still in the system and why must i commit myself so much to yoshi. still wondering what CL told me. although i hate this person to core, but still those things that he last time told me really make sense. if a person care for me so much, i won't have to wait for 6 month still havent go for course and not promoted. They are just making use of me yet why am i still so willing to let them make use of? i don't understand myself. willing to waste my time going to work and spend my time giving mailers, doing lobby work. what is this? i really wish that i could be more heartless.

people always say money not enough. for my case, it should be time not enough. i just need more time.

tomorrow there will be Drug discovery presentation and mini quiz. hope everything goes well and hope the person will come.

Can't expect the world to understand us. we should try to understand the world. This is what i learn today. :)

dragging on and on

Life is tough
Dealing with life is even tougher

recently only one work can describe my life... busy
as usual tire
as usual de lack of sleep

thinking of tomorrow still need to work yoshi really make me feel so sickening.
i dun wish to go work
no long looking forward working at yoshi
instead i look forward working at cold storage... although the stress level is super high, but its challenging and the pay is high
i shall wait for one more month... really hope that i can get that cert as soon as possible

i shall try my best not to miss school.... i had miss so many lesson and i really feel very bad abt it.... haizzzzzz.....