someone piss me off that day i work full shift. act clever. told him to wait but he think he very old bird. do on his own. i hate this kind of ppl. serve him right if he get into trouble.
this few days had been sms cat.. duno why more frequent then normal. and every time will have something that can make me smile.... crazy me.... trying his best to suit my time, at the same time i'm trying to make sure not to forget the timing he set it as free... i'm nuts de...
although ocassionally i'll still think about you. still wish to see u everytime i work in cs. but i know very well that not seeing u is good for me.
will be organizing a buffet again. will you appear? i duno. but will still invite u. whether u turn up anot is up to u.
my status now is single but not available. no one else can enter:) i'm satisfy with the current status even though it means i have to wait. sometimes i may complain. sometimes i will feel like giving up and find a new one.. but i know at the end of the day, i'll choose to wait.... crazy crazy crazy me.....
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
thoughtss
today met up with fourth aunt. she pass me a pic of my grandma funeral. i was 4yr old then.
have many wild thoughts after seeing that pic. will my grandma be proud of me being a nurse? how nice will it be if my grandma is still around. i envy those with grandma around them... i have none... oh, have one god-grandma.... my father de god ma... but i still miss my grandma... for all i can rmb, she really very dote me de. always carry me even when she is ill.
today i get confirm le. sis lim give me the appraisal to sign.. shld i be happy? i duno... but feel so tire of working life.... every day nth but work work work.... feel so meaningless. yet i cannot dun work also. feel so emo now... for whatever reason la. realise that working had make me change in my temper...
to xy, i'm sorry...
to jj, promise i'll give more time out to go out tgt de
after cny, will start giving a serious thought of finding a higher pay job le.... haha
have many wild thoughts after seeing that pic. will my grandma be proud of me being a nurse? how nice will it be if my grandma is still around. i envy those with grandma around them... i have none... oh, have one god-grandma.... my father de god ma... but i still miss my grandma... for all i can rmb, she really very dote me de. always carry me even when she is ill.
today i get confirm le. sis lim give me the appraisal to sign.. shld i be happy? i duno... but feel so tire of working life.... every day nth but work work work.... feel so meaningless. yet i cannot dun work also. feel so emo now... for whatever reason la. realise that working had make me change in my temper...
to xy, i'm sorry...
to jj, promise i'll give more time out to go out tgt de
after cny, will start giving a serious thought of finding a higher pay job le.... haha
Monday, February 1, 2010
at the verge of giving up
today start work... hoping can go home by 1015... looking forward....
but i'm wrong.. 4 empty bed given to me.... then come the admission one by one.. at the end of the shift, all 4 empty bed is occupied.. 1 drug abuse. 1 anemia. 1 TB, and the last one asthma.
second time i cried... today is too busy until i cried. asthma patient suppose to go the other team since the management ppl planned to put in other team de. end up due to bed not ready, the clerk say put in your bed 89 can. i jus look at her, up to u lor. and i walk off. i have 1 blood transfusion gg on, thart time was 815 and i was still serving medcine, none of my report is done. wtf is this.
well, tonight i ended with one eHOR, 1 transfusion that cannot finish and never prepare new admission tmr de medicine. i wasted one unit of platelet. the platelet didnt went into the pateint. its not connected also. i feel so guilty. i feel so stress up. ppl out there asking for blood donation and here i am, wasted 1 unit of platelet. i feel so tire being a nurse. the feeling of giving up is growing stronger and stronger in me. one day it will get too big for me to control and that will be the day i tender and resign le....
but i'm wrong.. 4 empty bed given to me.... then come the admission one by one.. at the end of the shift, all 4 empty bed is occupied.. 1 drug abuse. 1 anemia. 1 TB, and the last one asthma.
second time i cried... today is too busy until i cried. asthma patient suppose to go the other team since the management ppl planned to put in other team de. end up due to bed not ready, the clerk say put in your bed 89 can. i jus look at her, up to u lor. and i walk off. i have 1 blood transfusion gg on, thart time was 815 and i was still serving medcine, none of my report is done. wtf is this.
well, tonight i ended with one eHOR, 1 transfusion that cannot finish and never prepare new admission tmr de medicine. i wasted one unit of platelet. the platelet didnt went into the pateint. its not connected also. i feel so guilty. i feel so stress up. ppl out there asking for blood donation and here i am, wasted 1 unit of platelet. i feel so tire being a nurse. the feeling of giving up is growing stronger and stronger in me. one day it will get too big for me to control and that will be the day i tender and resign le....
Sunday, January 31, 2010
some updates after MIA
realise that so long never update my blog le... so many things happen, so many changes... keeping to myself...
today i think should be able to release it all ba..
my life routine is still the same... work work work.. free time only out with 2 grp of friend... one is cat and the other is my cs clicks...
last thursday wen out with sec sch friend... once so close yet feel so far now... she is not is only one that i feel drifting away la.. but she is the one that i feel sad for drifting away... she accompany me when i just left my hse.. my lowest nights she is there.... now it seems like we are from 2 diff world.... her thinking, my thinking... haiz.... the gap is so big... within 3 years....
working life is tough esp when holding not only one job... the more i work in cs, the more i wanted to be back to normal life... holding only one job. but i know it is impossible.. whenever i step out of cs, i will think of when is my next working day... what is wrong with me? i duno... start to feel more and more irritated working in cs with those ppl. but... there is something that hold me tightly over there.... the more i work, there are more ppl i dislike. is it really my short temper problem getting worst?
working in hospital is even more worst.. morning shift stress over timing.. always scare that i'll be late... then afetr that stress over wok... endless work to complete... afternoon shift stress over what time i can finish my work... although i'm getting more use to this kind of life, but also realise life is so unpredictable. patient come and go... planned for home, or just waiting for time to come... those i still can accept... but abt those that come in very ill, then almost fully recover le, went for procedure, come back le suddenly left? till now, almost 3 weeks had past, but i still can't get over it. she is the one that i do admission, from very ill to fully alert, able to talk, when for operation. before i go off in the night still can say goodbye to me, next day i mc, then my off day,... went back to ward, recieve the news that she past away 2 hours after she say goodbye to me. how can it be... how can i accept this...
till now, i'm still very emotional to some of my patient... i still need some time to get over this....
then my luck recently so GOOD... patient fall purposely, patient handphone lost, patient complain abt me... omg... whats going on.....
think i had complain enough and release enough le.. time to go sleep le... tmr starting of the week, hopefully things will be better for me ba
today i think should be able to release it all ba..
my life routine is still the same... work work work.. free time only out with 2 grp of friend... one is cat and the other is my cs clicks...
last thursday wen out with sec sch friend... once so close yet feel so far now... she is not is only one that i feel drifting away la.. but she is the one that i feel sad for drifting away... she accompany me when i just left my hse.. my lowest nights she is there.... now it seems like we are from 2 diff world.... her thinking, my thinking... haiz.... the gap is so big... within 3 years....
working life is tough esp when holding not only one job... the more i work in cs, the more i wanted to be back to normal life... holding only one job. but i know it is impossible.. whenever i step out of cs, i will think of when is my next working day... what is wrong with me? i duno... start to feel more and more irritated working in cs with those ppl. but... there is something that hold me tightly over there.... the more i work, there are more ppl i dislike. is it really my short temper problem getting worst?
working in hospital is even more worst.. morning shift stress over timing.. always scare that i'll be late... then afetr that stress over wok... endless work to complete... afternoon shift stress over what time i can finish my work... although i'm getting more use to this kind of life, but also realise life is so unpredictable. patient come and go... planned for home, or just waiting for time to come... those i still can accept... but abt those that come in very ill, then almost fully recover le, went for procedure, come back le suddenly left? till now, almost 3 weeks had past, but i still can't get over it. she is the one that i do admission, from very ill to fully alert, able to talk, when for operation. before i go off in the night still can say goodbye to me, next day i mc, then my off day,... went back to ward, recieve the news that she past away 2 hours after she say goodbye to me. how can it be... how can i accept this...
till now, i'm still very emotional to some of my patient... i still need some time to get over this....
then my luck recently so GOOD... patient fall purposely, patient handphone lost, patient complain abt me... omg... whats going on.....
think i had complain enough and release enough le.. time to go sleep le... tmr starting of the week, hopefully things will be better for me ba
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
tireee...
one week AL gone.... has being at cold storage 7 days out of 9 days AL cum off days and Rest day i spend full shift at cold storage.... so tire yet so fun. at the same time alot realise mummy really dote on me alot. even though its my fault, she will not scold me.... i'm feeling being spoiled in cold storage... with mummy, christina... and etc etc.... now they are really down with cashier... really wanted to help but then nursing side hour too difficult.. ytd and today night, next week night shift again... feel so tire le..time to sleep....
anyway, wish my cousin all the best (seems like he found someone he like de liao) wahahahah)...
anyway, wish my cousin all the best (seems like he found someone he like de liao) wahahahah)...
Monday, January 4, 2010
a brand new year?
saying goodbye to 2009, thinking back, my best year so far since i move out ba:) travelled to 2 countries, celebrates my 21st.
now its 2010.... hoping that brand new year will be smooth ba.
anyway, heard that someone was caught having secondary employment in my ward. start to worry abt my job.. anyway, i more month to go before i get confirm... so shouldnt be a problem ba... hope everything will go smoothly....
feel so tire after 1 round of night but can u imagine, i'll be have 3 round of night within this 4 weeks? OMG... THREE ROUNDS... going to get killed by the workload.
now its 2010.... hoping that brand new year will be smooth ba.
anyway, heard that someone was caught having secondary employment in my ward. start to worry abt my job.. anyway, i more month to go before i get confirm... so shouldnt be a problem ba... hope everything will go smoothly....
feel so tire after 1 round of night but can u imagine, i'll be have 3 round of night within this 4 weeks? OMG... THREE ROUNDS... going to get killed by the workload.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
buffet
ytd had another buffet at sakura with cs ppl.... happy... but, feeling lost.. crazy me... yup.. he really never appear... susanti also last min cannot make it... sad sad sad.
ytd E HOR again... phlebitis... arghh... first time in team one, i gana E HOR liao... irritated... busy like mad gal... that idiot consultant... FOLLOW ROUND FOLLOW ROUND FOLLOW ROUND... crazy sia.. nurses so free to follow rounds meh. then who is going to do the changes... still have trendcare need to predict... as if we very free like that.. hope he will leave my ward asap... everyone will clap for his leaving de........
haiz... need to go work again.. dragging as usual... irritated... arghhhhhhhhh
ytd E HOR again... phlebitis... arghh... first time in team one, i gana E HOR liao... irritated... busy like mad gal... that idiot consultant... FOLLOW ROUND FOLLOW ROUND FOLLOW ROUND... crazy sia.. nurses so free to follow rounds meh. then who is going to do the changes... still have trendcare need to predict... as if we very free like that.. hope he will leave my ward asap... everyone will clap for his leaving de........
haiz... need to go work again.. dragging as usual... irritated... arghhhhhhhhh
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