2016!!!!! And it MARCH!!!!

 

Wow wow wow... Time really flies.... 

It's already March 2016!!!! So fast.... 

So fast 2016 le.

So fast 6 months had passed since I last enter my blog.

So fast I'm already 28 years old!!!

So fast I'm already attached for 1 year!!!!

So fast it had been 1 year since I decided to be with this silly guy...

Throughout this one year, I can really see him struggling.. Clearing his debt, and working hard, studying hard too... Franking speaking, i really admire his determination... Although we do quarrels over minor things...but I had to admit most of the time is me who is the unreasonable ones.... Maybe I feel insecure, maybe because of the past relationships... Bear betrayal, p3 unfaithful to his wife and I'm the illegal ones, cat unwilling to commit... All this make me really scare... Really really scare... Scare one day he cleared his debt le, has qualification le, earn more $ le will abandon me..... 

But there are occasions where he really shows me by actions... He really cares... He really loves me for who i am.. When I'm sick, he really take care of me... Me throwing tantrum, turning in bed when I'm not feeling well, he really hug and make sure that I can sleep... All this make me feel so blessed... It may not be like movies and dramas where things are so romantics... But it's really a different kind of sweetness.... Of course during quarrels it's also different kind of bitterness as compare to drama and movies.. Hahahaha.. But still I should say, till now, I'm really feeling blessed to find this silly, sweet, hardworking guy.. Who will really work hard for our future.. 

As for cat, well, although in the end we failed to become a couple... But I believe God has his reason... He has a better plans for us... He knows us better than ourselves.. So well, let cat remains as a special good friend forever ba😊😊😊

Well shall ends this post here and hopefully I'll have time to come here more often... Well, enjoy writing here:)

Again 4 months

Haha... Seems like nowadays my post here is 4 monthly le.. Hahahahaha.. Last time is daily.. Then become weekly.. Then monthly... Now?? 4 monthly!!! Hahaha..

Well really very busy recently.. Getting use to life having a boyfriend le. But still... 24 hours a day is not enough!!!!

Pig head is gone for 2 years plus le.. This is his 3rd bday he is not around.. Kinda of miss him.. Wonder if he still can rmb me and how is he doing.. Sound crazy but still can't help but to miss him.. 

As for the cat.. Celebrate his bday in batam... Surprisingly my boyfriend allows me to go on solo trip with cat. Of course never do anything that betray my boyfriend la... But really glad that my boyfriend trust me so much.. 

My feelings??? Kinda of mixed... But duno to start saying from where... Cat knows abt me having a boyfriend le.. A little weird telling him. But.. Well I think after so many years... I should move on le ba... 

Attached liao lo

Yup... After not writing blog for so long..... Finally have the 'time' to write again. As the post title written, yes, I'm attached.. Unexpected, but willing accepted this relationship. Not only because he is nice to me, he is also very honest to me. He told me about his darkest past. Duno should I be happy or should I be upset.. I agreed to be his gf. Although till now still very sweet in the relationship, but the longer I'm with him, more if his past is becoming the burden in our relationship. Coming into second month in 2 days time... I Duno if I took the correct path. But I know, this is the path I choose. So no matter how tough it's gg to be or what's the result going to be, I'll face it.  And the saddest thing is my bf is not the cat. Yes, I had given up. I had face the fact, face the reality. What was not meant to be, no matter how many years later, there won't be a result.. 

2015.... Hi....

2014 ended with loneliness n sadness.. That's also the way I started 2015... 

Realize I really lost Sinyee as a friend.. Didn't expect 15years friendship is so fragile.. 

Dec promotion is out.. Well.. Fated not to get promoted in 2014.. No matter how hard I work.. No matter how much time and effort I put in.. Requested day off all not approve.. Tire and sick still crawl to work.. What's the point? Only end with disappointment.. 

When voice out to that cat... He take it as small issue.. Yes it's small issue.. But he duno how much that mean to me.. Since last day of 2014 till now, no words from him... TO HIM, WHO AM I????

2015.... 

Meet a guy online... Sounds good but phobia stopped me from moving on.. 

He came back... Ya... P came back to look for me.. Met him last night.. I realize he had changed a lot a lot a lot.. Feels like a stranger to me now... 

2015, will it be a nice year? Or will it be same as last few years being cruel to me??? 

Sick

This year really very happening. Went to a&e twice... Both due to gastric pain.. Worst still yesterday the dr wanna admit me but I refuse. Tmr clinic appt.. I think I'll just face it. Agree to go do scope ba.. Something I wanted to avoid but seems like it's time I face it le.. 

He really disappoint me yesterday. It was his off day. Actually wanted him to accompany me to go a&e cause I'm scare. Asked him if I should go and can he accompany me, I cried when he reply.. He reply: Go lo. Not like I'm of much help even if I go. Why will I fall in love with this kind of guy!!!! Upset to the max..

Mid 2014

Time really flies... Already mid 2014!! This year, my health start to flash red light. Having v bad gastric pain till I visited ED. A very scary experience. Especially when I'm alone.. Slow down my pace for life this yr. working less n traveling more:) 

March: I went to Melbourne again. This time with my fourth aunt. Really enjoyed it a lot!!! 

May: I went to taiwan!!!! With wing ting and Sinyee.. Although not as good as I thought due to the traveling partners.. But nice experience.. 

Came back n I'm done with v bad gastric pain:( still recovering n I hope to recover real soon:) 

This year, manage to spend more time with uncle:) happy moment, seeing him smile.. His health did improve a lot. Also though he is still on many meds everyday, but he is back to work. Can see that he is much more happier compare to last time:) hope this can goes on:) I feel so blessed n contented with my life now... Happy!!!

another 4 months...

wow... time really flies....
another 4 months had past..
sometimes i just wonder, why is my life so happening....
so many things happening everyday, every week, every month...

since young, i wish i could have a elder sister who care for me, love me, and dote me just like my cousin.. finally after i left hse, i thought my wish finally come true.. my real elder sister.. she cares for me. Listen to me and understand me. after that, she starts to share her problem with me..
next she ask me for help financially. then i agree to be her guarantor. she promise she will make payment on time. few months later i receive call from the bank saying that she default her payment. not one month.. is 4 months. i told her and she make payment. few months later i recieve call again. i told the bank that I'm the guarantor and I'll contact her for payment. its was then that i was told i'm not the guarantor. I'm the account holder!! i wonder, why am i such a fool. why do i buy her words and believe in what she says.. anyway, its too late for me to do anything. got to just bear with it. but something i learnt is i'll never trust anyone including my own family..

someone appears into my life.. someone who likes me.. but i think at my current state, i'm not ready for another relationship. not for the time being. and the someone seems to have left me after that.. i thought we could be friends.. but.... quietly after few months he left... although we still keep in touch, but we keep a distance as well.

as for eddie... i had accepted the fact that we are good friends... slowly, i'm returning to my own world... a world that belongs to ME!!! alone yet happy me!!! i believe time will wash off the love that i had in him and making our friendship stronger. i'm not upset that we cannot develop into the kind of relationship i wanted to. instead i'm happy that i found a true friend who has the same liking in idols and hobby in eating buffet!!

just wish that my life will just move on peacefully...

i pack my very first case in this department. a very sudden collaspe.. and passed away.. felling sad for this patient and his family, but i believe its a learning path for me..

as for my uncle.. although he is taking 10 tablets every morning... but he is back to his normal!! and he doesn't requires blood taking every week!!!! seeing him happy, eating well... and most importantly by my side.. i'm contented.. and i'm going to invite him to my graduation ceremony. he is going to see me going up the stage collecting my degree cert!! can't wait for that day to come!!!!

well i'm going to sign off le.. feeling sleepy now.. hopefully my next update will not be 4 months later.. haha..