such a "nice" day today... working full shift at cs... cashier room had move to the "cold room" le.. and its really cold de... i miss the old cashier room. bigger, nicer... the new one look so.... haiz..... night time because of my tiredness and bad temper, i threw temper again. at someone i shouldn't over someone that is not worth it... all i could say is i'm sorry. shouldn't have give u those kind of attitude. i admit, i'm piss off in the beginning. very piss off... but on the way back, i think alot... is it worth it anot... over him. yes i still think of him almost everyday. but he is not worth to spoil our friendship.... promise u, no matter what happen next time no matter how tire i am, history will not happen again ok:)... i;m sorry...
somehow have a sense that history that had happen in yoshi is going to repeat itself again in cs.. how... what can i do? what shall i do to stop it?
i'm not forcing myself to accept the truth... its hard to let go, but i believe, i'll b able to do it. by the time i meet u next time, everything will be back to normal.. yes... i'll de....
haiz... so many thing wanna type... but.. i'm lazy.....
so many mixed feelings want to let go, but worried that u are reading....
arghhhhhhhhhh
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
how long more can i hang on
i really feel like giving up now. really. the thought of going to work is stressful. i can't believe that i'll be so cannot make it. she told me, siewling, when u student time, your proactive-ness impressed me. but now you have more slacken. i duno whats happen. i work double hard compare to when i'm a student time, i stay back to write report. but what i get in the end?
can anyone believe, i work until 1215am yesterday. i suppose to end work at 10. usually i'll finish up my report until 1130. yesterday i finish at 1215am and it is with the help of the other staff nurse who stay back with me. between 8-930, i have 1 pt from ED, 1 pt from EDTC, and 2 pt from 8B. what the hell is this la. how to work in this kind of environment. HO blames me for not informing her. but usually transfer in dun need to inform de what. sickening.
suddenly have the urge to leave. to resign. to work in a place that is less stressful. i really duno how to face the ward. i duno how to go to the ward and work. i'm tire..
i miss cs. i miss my mummy very much.
will be moving back to hougang tmr le. time pass really fast. staying here for 1 month le. very use to the life here.
i'm seriously tire of life. sick and tire of moving and working. how much i hope i can go to a place where there is no more stress, no need to work, dun need to face ppl. what can i do?
can anyone believe, i work until 1215am yesterday. i suppose to end work at 10. usually i'll finish up my report until 1130. yesterday i finish at 1215am and it is with the help of the other staff nurse who stay back with me. between 8-930, i have 1 pt from ED, 1 pt from EDTC, and 2 pt from 8B. what the hell is this la. how to work in this kind of environment. HO blames me for not informing her. but usually transfer in dun need to inform de what. sickening.
suddenly have the urge to leave. to resign. to work in a place that is less stressful. i really duno how to face the ward. i duno how to go to the ward and work. i'm tire..
i miss cs. i miss my mummy very much.
will be moving back to hougang tmr le. time pass really fast. staying here for 1 month le. very use to the life here.
i'm seriously tire of life. sick and tire of moving and working. how much i hope i can go to a place where there is no more stress, no need to work, dun need to face ppl. what can i do?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
i'm tire
even sleeping for 11 hours, i still feel that my bones is breaking. for the past few day really cannot make it. so many things unable to finish. transferring patient out, admitting patient which is cannot make it de. work until cannot breathe. since start till end no time for meal, staying until 5 to complete my report... working in this environment, how long can i continue?
will be moving back to fourth aunt house this saturday. again moving. had been moving for the last 3 years le. will be moving out to stay soon. most likely begininng of next month ba.. if not, worst come to worst, get that place ready for her first, pay everything first and then delay for another 2 weeks before moving in.... this few months so many things is happening la... 2 close poly friend birthday. my third aunt coming back from aust, my sixth aunt coming back from china..
seeing my friend going to move out soon really make me wonder if i make a right choice. sometimes, i will feel very bad about it. i'm breakin her mother heart. if i dun exist, thing might be better right.... again and again i'm thinking.
do u know that i'm still thinking of you? trying very hard to let u go, but somehow, everything that i do reminds me of u. even something as simply as going to a supermarket to buy things, ppl reminds me of you. you are so popular, i know. but its just... i cant believe it. why should i still think of u when u are not. why should i be holding on when u seems so not be bother. i should have let go of you at the beginning. but i didnt. i must let go of you now, but i can't.
going out with cat is happy. but like what ppl say, we seems more like friends. sometimes i agree. but sometime he make me think twice.
when will i have someone that can care for me? shower me with the care and concern that i want? when? who? i'm still waiting. searching in the middle of the sea. how must i wish it could be pig. dun scold me for being silly. dun scold be for being stupid.
life still have to goes on....
will be moving back to fourth aunt house this saturday. again moving. had been moving for the last 3 years le. will be moving out to stay soon. most likely begininng of next month ba.. if not, worst come to worst, get that place ready for her first, pay everything first and then delay for another 2 weeks before moving in.... this few months so many things is happening la... 2 close poly friend birthday. my third aunt coming back from aust, my sixth aunt coming back from china..
seeing my friend going to move out soon really make me wonder if i make a right choice. sometimes, i will feel very bad about it. i'm breakin her mother heart. if i dun exist, thing might be better right.... again and again i'm thinking.
do u know that i'm still thinking of you? trying very hard to let u go, but somehow, everything that i do reminds me of u. even something as simply as going to a supermarket to buy things, ppl reminds me of you. you are so popular, i know. but its just... i cant believe it. why should i still think of u when u are not. why should i be holding on when u seems so not be bother. i should have let go of you at the beginning. but i didnt. i must let go of you now, but i can't.
going out with cat is happy. but like what ppl say, we seems more like friends. sometimes i agree. but sometime he make me think twice.
when will i have someone that can care for me? shower me with the care and concern that i want? when? who? i'm still waiting. searching in the middle of the sea. how must i wish it could be pig. dun scold me for being silly. dun scold be for being stupid.
life still have to goes on....
Friday, September 4, 2009
i'm sorry
although i had agree to give up. to let go.
forcing myself that u are just fooling ard.
yes, i'm convinced
but. somehow, i'm still thinking of u
i try very hard to hide.
but i can't stop myself listening to song that will remains me of him
i'm stupid
i'm a fool
when will i be able to stop myself
forcing myself that u are just fooling ard.
yes, i'm convinced
but. somehow, i'm still thinking of u
i try very hard to hide.
but i can't stop myself listening to song that will remains me of him
i'm stupid
i'm a fool
when will i be able to stop myself
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
recent updatess
the feeling of missing someone is miserable...
when will i be able to let go of him?
when is there going to have a full stop to this sad story?
is he just trying to make fun of me?
or is he bother by the age gap?
does he really have a girlfriend that is about to get married?
i just need to know the ans before i can move on. that's the one ans i want for now.
thinking of him whenever i hear old song. and the more i wanted that old song.
those song he had sang before that night.
i'm lost...
going to start work later liao... the stressful work.
start to have the thought of giving up my current full time job and join cs as full timer again.
the thought of I GOING TO START NIGHT SHIFT THIS SUNDAY really make me feel tire even before i start.. whats wrong with me?
how hard i have work for the past 3 yr to complete this course and here i am, thinking of giving up after less then 6 months after i start work. WHAT"S WRONG WITH ME?
anyway, for last week and the past few days i working in cs, its really fun, crazy and cui..
really tire. but its fun... chiong long queue. calling mummy mummy and mummy.... i really love my cs mummy... she is the chief cashier la.. i can share all my unhappy things with her. except for thing abt PH. haha... last week really long hours of working, but really enjoy those time there... next week although i off for many days, but will be gg out many days la....haha... tuesday night, wed night, sat whole day and sunday whole day... oh on.... pay just came and here i am going to spend so much so much,...
well, shall go off and prepare for work liao... on, i should say, prepare for war liao... shall update again soon.,...
anyway, just a word to my special friend... working so hard to stop yourself from thinking will only make u think more when u rest. looking at the way you are working now, its time for u to cut down even more le. enough of chionging le. avoiding really cant solve the problem. be strong, face it. its time for you to get a long rest also le... yes, i still avoiding my problem. but i need an ans to decide whether i should put a fullstop anot. i dun want to repeat like last time. putting a fullstop and regretted just because of what he say and i thought its is impossible.
this time, the fullstop will totally end the story.
when will i be able to let go of him?
when is there going to have a full stop to this sad story?
is he just trying to make fun of me?
or is he bother by the age gap?
does he really have a girlfriend that is about to get married?
i just need to know the ans before i can move on. that's the one ans i want for now.
thinking of him whenever i hear old song. and the more i wanted that old song.
those song he had sang before that night.
i'm lost...
going to start work later liao... the stressful work.
start to have the thought of giving up my current full time job and join cs as full timer again.
the thought of I GOING TO START NIGHT SHIFT THIS SUNDAY really make me feel tire even before i start.. whats wrong with me?
how hard i have work for the past 3 yr to complete this course and here i am, thinking of giving up after less then 6 months after i start work. WHAT"S WRONG WITH ME?
anyway, for last week and the past few days i working in cs, its really fun, crazy and cui..
really tire. but its fun... chiong long queue. calling mummy mummy and mummy.... i really love my cs mummy... she is the chief cashier la.. i can share all my unhappy things with her. except for thing abt PH. haha... last week really long hours of working, but really enjoy those time there... next week although i off for many days, but will be gg out many days la....haha... tuesday night, wed night, sat whole day and sunday whole day... oh on.... pay just came and here i am going to spend so much so much,...
well, shall go off and prepare for work liao... on, i should say, prepare for war liao... shall update again soon.,...
anyway, just a word to my special friend... working so hard to stop yourself from thinking will only make u think more when u rest. looking at the way you are working now, its time for u to cut down even more le. enough of chionging le. avoiding really cant solve the problem. be strong, face it. its time for you to get a long rest also le... yes, i still avoiding my problem. but i need an ans to decide whether i should put a fullstop anot. i dun want to repeat like last time. putting a fullstop and regretted just because of what he say and i thought its is impossible.
this time, the fullstop will totally end the story.
AL over
so fast, one week plus de AL over le....... this whole week i think spend most of my time at cold storage ba... 59 hours last week. this week almost collapse from working... tmr starting work liao.. sian is the only word tt can describe my feeling right now. maybe because i have work too much liao.. play too much till no heart to go back to work ba... all the best to me ba. 3 afternoon shift starting tmr then 2 night shift... looking forward yet there is still fear for the night shift. i'll be junior in charge leh... one whole row somemore.... haiz...... wish me good luck ba..
next week is his bdayh le... will be celebrating for him..but somehow i feel that its one one.....
although here i am planing for his bday, yet, deep down i'm missiong someone else
why dun u reply my sms?
u are the one who start the story again after i had end it. since now u are the one who start it, u should be the one putting a fullstop. why r u avoiding it? i'm still waitning for ur reply and i'm ready to face the answer.. how much i wish u know how i feel. i believe u should already know, but why cant u just face it?
next week is his bdayh le... will be celebrating for him..but somehow i feel that its one one.....
although here i am planing for his bday, yet, deep down i'm missiong someone else
why dun u reply my sms?
u are the one who start the story again after i had end it. since now u are the one who start it, u should be the one putting a fullstop. why r u avoiding it? i'm still waitning for ur reply and i'm ready to face the answer.. how much i wish u know how i feel. i believe u should already know, but why cant u just face it?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
time really flies
i'm now 3 month old staff nurse le... and i'm enjoying my AL now. tmr will be back to work for 1 day because of that baldder scan course. anyway, today within ine day, i spend more then $300 buck. on specs, on food, on transport...
today i saw him again. never say much. realise that dun need to say anything. just looking at him from far is enough. knowing wat he doing. seeing him concentrating on his work is so cool.
somehow i still feel the disappointment. the feeling of being abandon. duno why. still have that little expectation. the way he look at me really show something different. i know it. he know it also. but... we still cant... we still cannot overcome that problem ba..
i wish i can see him again soon
today i saw him again. never say much. realise that dun need to say anything. just looking at him from far is enough. knowing wat he doing. seeing him concentrating on his work is so cool.
somehow i still feel the disappointment. the feeling of being abandon. duno why. still have that little expectation. the way he look at me really show something different. i know it. he know it also. but... we still cant... we still cannot overcome that problem ba..
i wish i can see him again soon
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